The Opposition's Weaknesses

Hi All - Halloween is behind us, Thanksgiving may or may not be glossed over, and the Winter Holidays are just around the corner.  So what's on the docket for today?

Often times, people try to intimidate us when we say things that we're proud of or happy about.  If they're toxic enough, they'll try to say that what we like is stupid or useless, and they'll say it in the loudest, longest, and most obnoxious way.  And because they know that we're basically nicer, and are less likely to fight back, they sometimes also will say it in front of a crowd of followers and sycophants, since they need continuous reinforcement through enabling to continue living off this toxicity.

Why they do that is not as important as how to handle it.  However, some insight into their quest to silence you might reveal a few tips and pointers:

(Reason 1)  They're not secure enough to handle someone who thinks differently than they do, and can't share the floor with other voices.  
(Solution 1)   Keep voicing your opinion anyway.  The more they try to silence you, make yourself better, wiser, and more thick-skinned.  No matter how loud they get, they'll be forced to reckon with you.

(Reason 2)  They have weaknesses to protect, and the longer they allow you to talk, they're afraid you'll touch a nerve.
(Solution 2)  Keep it in your back pocket.  Don't hit them over the head out of nowhere with it, that's their game plan, and not ours.  Once they cross a line, which they always do, lock on the target and pull the trigger.  You didn't start that conflict, and they sure as heck asked for it.

(Reason 3)  They have been enabled, spoiled, and protected for so long they don't understand how it feels to be wrong, incorrect, or behind the times.  And it shakes the very foundations upon which they stand.
(Solution 3)  Keep it in lower in your back pocket.  It's not our way to fight arrogance with arrogance.  But whenever they make it a personal attack, yes you can hit them over the head with this.  The very concept of choosing not to say something, even though you can, was obviously never taught to them earlier, so teach them now.  

As I've stated before, the way for us Betas to improve our lives, be happier, and attain greater successes is to be Bold and Bulletproof.  That means not letting people bully us into silence just because they don't know how to respectfully disagree.  That means shoring up our feelings airtight so nothing they say can wound us, stun us, or make us feel ashamed of ourselves.  And yes, when warranted, that means take a shot at them to show them what is acceptable and what is not.

Unfortunately, there are still more alpholes out there than there are of us.  For now.

I EXIST.  I MATTER.  I BELONG.  I DESERVE.

I AM BOLD.  I AM BULLETPROOF.  I AM BETA.

Who Do You Love Most?

Hey All!  Hope you enjoyed this three-day weekend if you were off for President's Day!

This past Saturday was Valentine's Day.  For those of you who are single, you might have called it "Black Saturday" or "Single Awareness Day."  You might have lamented the fact that you didn't have a sweetheart to spend this day with, and you might have cursed all those couples out there who seemed to be rubbing their abundance and your lack in your face.  You might have also celebrated the money you were saving and treating yourself instead.

Nowhere to go out?  Good!  Save your money, watch a movie, and be good to yourself.  While they're all out wining and dining as an investment in romantic love, you can make an investment in self-love.  They're having surf & turf?  Splurge on some Taco Bell!  You can make yourself laugh, you can make plans for the future, and you can think about how you'd rather spend Valentine's Day next year.

It might be that you're alone because you asked someone out and they said no.  Maybe they thought you "weren't good enough" for them in some way.  Maybe you took this to mean you were not good enough for everyone.  She is wrong, but so are you.

Rejection might be a form of bullying, but if you're bold and bulletproof, you can see that it's the mildest form of bullying there is.  She doesn't have to like you, and that's her choice to make.  But is she the end-all and be-all?  I highly doubt it.  But does that mean you should settle for someone else just so you can say you have a Valentine, and check off some unseen box on the alphaganda checklist?  No way, no how, not even close.  That way of thinking is why more than half of all marriages end in divorce.

You don't need a Valentine on Valentine's Day.   Maybe you want one.  If you'd like to have one, then have the good grace to love yourself first.  That one simple axiom, in and of itself, works better than any of the how-to guides to be a player, a pickup artist, or super-boyfriend that any of those jokers have ever manufactured. Rather, it comports with the Four Pillars -- specifically the ones about Belonging and Deserving.  If not today, then tomorrow.

Yes, you may feel like growling like Johnny Cash when you're single, muttering over those Folsom Prison Blues, and grumbling over your solitude.  Or, you might sing and groove like Barry White, knowing that with the loooooove you have for yourself, you'll be able to share the loooooove when it comes knockin', baby.

I recommend the Barry approach.  It's a lot more fun.  And it works.

I EXIST.  I MATTER.  I BELONG.  I DESERVE.

Good night everybody!

Boldness

Hey All!  It's about that time again.

When I started taking this little enterprise in its current direction, I heard a small, but tolerable, amount of criticism.

"Beta males, David?  You're putting your audience down by definition!  You're saying that they're all second-rate, and you're reminding them that the alpha males get all the women, while they'll be left with nobody!"

Au contraire.  The point is unfortunately missed.  This blog is about the advancement of beta males, among other things.

I am not telling my audience that they need to stop being themselves and start being someone completely different.  That's like telling the introverted kid in high school that he has to dress differently, speak differently, and act completely unnaturally in order to get more people to like him -- that's ridiculous.

The first step to this advancement, if it's not obvious enough already, is for a beta male to replace his self-doubt with confidence as his first layer of armor.  From the inside outward, he must know that he is a good man just the way he is.  He must know that he is capable and confident.  He must know the right questions to ask to gain the knowledge he seeks.

He should never seek to change who he is, substitute his values, or try to emulate someone who has a completely different make up than his.  Instead, he should believe that he has every right to his thoughts, his words, and his choices.

He should not feel crippled, defective, or mortally wounded by his mistakes.  He should never feel that his shortcomings define him.  And he should never think that anyone else's opinion of him can save or damn his very soul.

To put it short, he should be bold.  Not tough, not badass, not cocky, and not full of himself.  Bold.

Even if he feels afraid or nervous, he still feels confident.  Even if he faces criticism or insults, he minimizes them as others' opinions, and not his own.  Even if he loses or fails, he knows that dwelling on the losses or failures to often will immobilize him, and he keeps moving instead.

Pretty simple really.  Shame on me for not spelling out earlier, but I've done it now instead.

So let's be Bold -- starting tomorrow!

I EXIST.  I MATTER.  I BELONG.  I DESERVE.

I AM BULLETPROOF.  I AM BOLD.  I AM BETA.