Fault Transference

 Happy Sunday, Friends and Neighbors.

A few observations I've noticed over time:  When people feel wronged, or even slighted, they often feel that the ordinary "rules of engagement" no longer apply to them.  Or maybe they nurse a grudge for an indefinite period of time, and choose not to communicate why it was a problem until years or decades have elapsed.

However, this creates a problem for them.  When they retaliate disproportionately, or they choose revenge instead of growth, they actually relieve the initial aggressor of any real responsibility.  

No, I'm not saying you have to pretend to love everyone who does not love you, or to not have any feelings whatsoever.  That's what parents say to little children when they want them to be quiet.  But I am saying that controlling those base, unthinking, and reactive desires to "get back at" them is the wiser choice.  It means that you have enough control over those emotions to not become just as terrible as the one who has wronged you, and that you can let their own misconduct stand by itself and wither away, without being further escalated by your own response.

If you feel triggered and provoked, you are in danger of being tooled and manipulated.  Stop that as soon as it starts.  Breathe, recite a mantra (silently if you must), and later on write in a private journal about what asshats and dipshits they are.  But do not lose your shit on them, no matter what they do or say.  You're not them.

If these are co-workers, classmates, relatives, or friends-of-friends-of-friends whom you don't have the power to remove, then check your ego, swallow your pride, and repel their provocations.  If, however, you do have the power to remove them from your life or social circle, fire them, and don't let them manipulate you otherwise.

And don't assume they're "getting away with it" either.  There's a Lady Named Karma, and She's even more tired of their crap than you are.

I EXIST.  I MATTER.  I BELONG.  I DESERVE.

RESPECT ALL.  BEFRIEND FEW.  LOVE ONE.  HATE NONE.

MOTHER PROTECT US, FATHER EMBOLDEN US.

Advancement Through Balance

 Happy New Year, All!  It's the first day of 2023.

To me, it's the perfect time to start setting forth our evolved philosophy in more realistic and consistent terms.  And that's Advancement Through Balance.

Our society in the United States is very divisive because, among other reasons, we don't seek balance.  We seek conflict.  Life does provide situations where conflict is necessary, and we certainly must prepare ourselves for that.  However, it does not mandate that we actively seek out, initiate, or provoke conflict.  People's mindsets do that all by themselves.  

We are in our best shape to interact with the world around us when we are open-minded, objective, well-informed, and educated.  However, we are not in the best shape when we are tooled, groomed, deputized, cuckolded, and manipulated.  That's when we stop being well-informed and start being a conformist.

Unfortunately, it is an innate part of human nature for some of us to be more aggressive than necessary, and for some of us to be more docile and compliant than warranted.  If others have chosen these paths, there is nothing we can do to change their ways that does not involve becoming even worse than they are.  But we most certainly can discipline ourselves so that we don't take either path, and instead find balance between them.

It might sense to say that those who are balanced cannot advance, because they are ambivalent and have no loyalty or drive.  This is incorrect.  You can become aware of multiple perspectives, and still choose one over the others and still be right.  There's nothing in the world wrong with you making your own choices, provided that they are informed, and anyone who tells you otherwise is trying to manipulate you.  Don't be tooled.

Over the course of this New Year, let's all advance.  We have already built the foundation of knowing how wrong, obnoxious, and sometimes evil others are capable of being.  We can shore up that foundation with the knowledge that we ourselves have our own failings, but that these limitations do not prevent us from improving and becoming stronger - if anything, they are more detailed blueprints from which we can learn to build even better.  From this point on, we erect a high ceiling and a higher tower - constructed of self-respect, assertiveness, and informed practice.  These materials will last a lifetime - by contrast, a structure based on mindless aggression, which supports parapets built on fear, submission, and undeserved fealty, is doomed to collapse.

Let's grab a shovel and break ground today.

MOTHER PROTECT US, FATHER EMBOLDEN US.

ADVANCEMENT THROUGH BALANCE.