Liberty

Hey All!  Big doings in the news.

Last week, the Supreme Court found that the Equal Protection Clause of the Fourteenth Amendment allows for gay marriage.  This is welcomed as a victory for civil rights.

This blog provides motivation and encouragement to men and boys who have been bullied, broken down, and told that they do not represent the image of the ideal "real man."  Thanks to the alphaganda, generations grew up believing that gay was the worst thing a man could be.  Accordingly, I must support gay marriage.

Any man or woman who is ready to make such an exclusive commitment should have the right to do so.  And if he feels naturally in love with another man, or she feels naturally in love with another woman, then let them marry.

The slippery slope others fear does not exist.  This cannot lead to incestuous marriages, as their offspring would have unnatural deformities.  This is why there are already laws prohibiting such relationships, with or without marriage.  Neither can it lead to pedophilic marriages, since children are not prepared for marriage.

Marriage is, and always will be, a relationship for two consenting adults.  Not three, not seven, but just two.  This is more of the same.

The gay community has suffered from bullying, due in no small part, to the notion that a "real man" is not gay.  Many victims of bullying have been called gay so many times, due to their perceived weaknesses, that they begin to question whether or not they are.  

This decision, in granting the right to marry, puts gays on equal footing with straight men, at least in this sense.  I applaud and celebrate this.

Just one caveat - you still have to respect other people's rights too.  If someone else is not yet comfortable with the fact that you have these rights, you can't force them to be comfortable.  This isn't 1984 and you're not the Thought Police.  If a bakery has reservations about baking a cake for a gay wedding, then tell them how wrong they are, with some choice words thrown in, and find a bakery that is willing to do it.  You don't get to ruin someone else because they say no, just like they don't get to ruin you for being yourself.  If they're not attacking you, but simply disagreeing with you, emotional maturity requires that you not engage that battle.  Don't make yourself worse than them.

It is now the law of the land that gays have a right to marry.  Nobody can take that right away.  But with rights come responsibilities.  Use them wisely.

I EXIST.  I MATTER.  I BELONG.  I DESERVE.

 

Who Do You Love Most?

Hey All!  Hope you enjoyed this three-day weekend if you were off for President's Day!

This past Saturday was Valentine's Day.  For those of you who are single, you might have called it "Black Saturday" or "Single Awareness Day."  You might have lamented the fact that you didn't have a sweetheart to spend this day with, and you might have cursed all those couples out there who seemed to be rubbing their abundance and your lack in your face.  You might have also celebrated the money you were saving and treating yourself instead.

Nowhere to go out?  Good!  Save your money, watch a movie, and be good to yourself.  While they're all out wining and dining as an investment in romantic love, you can make an investment in self-love.  They're having surf & turf?  Splurge on some Taco Bell!  You can make yourself laugh, you can make plans for the future, and you can think about how you'd rather spend Valentine's Day next year.

It might be that you're alone because you asked someone out and they said no.  Maybe they thought you "weren't good enough" for them in some way.  Maybe you took this to mean you were not good enough for everyone.  She is wrong, but so are you.

Rejection might be a form of bullying, but if you're bold and bulletproof, you can see that it's the mildest form of bullying there is.  She doesn't have to like you, and that's her choice to make.  But is she the end-all and be-all?  I highly doubt it.  But does that mean you should settle for someone else just so you can say you have a Valentine, and check off some unseen box on the alphaganda checklist?  No way, no how, not even close.  That way of thinking is why more than half of all marriages end in divorce.

You don't need a Valentine on Valentine's Day.   Maybe you want one.  If you'd like to have one, then have the good grace to love yourself first.  That one simple axiom, in and of itself, works better than any of the how-to guides to be a player, a pickup artist, or super-boyfriend that any of those jokers have ever manufactured. Rather, it comports with the Four Pillars -- specifically the ones about Belonging and Deserving.  If not today, then tomorrow.

Yes, you may feel like growling like Johnny Cash when you're single, muttering over those Folsom Prison Blues, and grumbling over your solitude.  Or, you might sing and groove like Barry White, knowing that with the loooooove you have for yourself, you'll be able to share the loooooove when it comes knockin', baby.

I recommend the Barry approach.  It's a lot more fun.  And it works.

I EXIST.  I MATTER.  I BELONG.  I DESERVE.

Good night everybody!

Changing

Hey all - time to continue the upward trend.

The real theme of this blog is change.  For us betas to advance, to be redeemed, and to become self-actualized, we must obviously change things.  The way we think, the way we act, the way we choose who gets cast in the movie we call our life, who stays in it, and who leaves.

Sometimes it's scary.  You're set in your ways for some time, and then you start doing things a whole new way, and that takes adjustment.

Sometimes it comes at a price.  Others might not be happy with your changes and try to guilt you back into being who they wish you were.  

Sometimes it feels uncomfortable.  Maybe staying the same is easier, even if it's wrong.

Sometimes it's needed.  You can't reach the heavens unless you ascend from the launching pad.

Sometimes it's beautiful.  Others might be accepting, if not impressed, with your changes.

Sometimes it's perfect.  You might just be "changing" into who you were always truly were.

Ya know, I haven't been seeing a lot of responses lately.  A few weeks ago, random person joked about not being a beta male to me and it took me by surprise!  I'm glad it's being read by somebody, but I'd like to hear that beta males struggling with themselves might have read something good in my weekly endeavors.

Any encouraging or helpful comments are encouraged, and those that are neither, or use sexist terms, will be deleted.

A Few Changes

Hey All -- about that time again!

You may have noticed a few changes. A different tone and a different attitude, perhaps.  Rather than the confrontational approach it originally took against damage to young men's and boys' self-esteem, it has evolved into an attempt to strengthen it.

One major shift has been to essentially substitute the word "bully" with my own invented term, "alphole." Since it is clearly synonymous with "bully," it obviously cannot describe those who are not bullies, and have no desire to disrespect beta males.  If anything, it describes those who dilute the mark of alpha males, and gives them a reputation that they do not necessarily deserve.  Accordingly, this change works.

The good thing about this word, besides it being my own concoction, is that it strips away the power that people like this claim to possess, and reveals that they do have imperfections.  A "bully" is a juggernaut, someone who is infinitely stronger than you, can screw with you anytime, and can't be stopped by anything you do.  An "alphole" is not.  An alphole can get on his high horse, and get knocked right out of the saddle.  He's just as vulnerable, just as fallible, and just as human as we are, but he makes the mistake of acting like he's not, and thinking that it's OK for him to use force against those perceived to be weaker or less intelligent.  For that reason, he might be destined for the downfall of a tragic Greek anti-hero, instead of us.

That being said, since the purpose here is to empower, and not to attack, it's not really the alpholes that are the sworn enemy of this blog and its readers.  Rather, that's my other pet phrase, the "alphaganda."  This is nothing more than a fancy word for "conformity."  It's this unwritten idea that there are things that every man must do, or must not do, otherwise they are simply not "real men."  Beta males find themselves outside this sphere of influence, and they sometimes suffer for it greatly.  Not only because of the hostility that comes their way merely by being different, but also because their self-esteem is sometimes damaged as a result.

Peeps, beta males are different.  You are not the ones who are expected to win bar fights, to be with more women than Gene Simmons, to buy and sell blue chip stocks, or to be close and personal friends with a cross-section of celebrities.  So don't be.  If there are other men who fulfill this role, then by all means, let them have it.  You've been chosen for other purposes, some of which might be even greater than the beer-commercial fantasy I've just recited.

No matter what it is that you've been chosen to do, there is no law, no directive, and no order requiring you to conform to the alphaganda.  In many ways, you can make yourself more of a man by shrugging off those age-old requirements.  If conforming to those ways does not feel genuine or natural to you, do yourself a favor and don't.  Be you.  Be true to who you are.  Exist.  Matter.  Belong.  Deserve.  And while doing all of those, be bulletproof!

DISCLAIMER:  I swore I wouldn't do this, but I will anyway. The term "alphole," as fully explained above, applies to bullies, and not to all men who are considered "alpha males."

And the alphaganda?  Nobody's trying to repeal it or invalidate it.  I'm trying to remind beta males that they should never feel that they are required to follow it if it doesn't fit them, as explained above.