Hey All! It's about that time again.
When I started taking this little enterprise in its current direction, I heard a small, but tolerable, amount of criticism.
"Beta males, David? You're putting your audience down by definition! You're saying that they're all second-rate, and you're reminding them that the alpha males get all the women, while they'll be left with nobody!"
Au contraire. The point is unfortunately missed. This blog is about the advancement of beta males, among other things.
I am not telling my audience that they need to stop being themselves and start being someone completely different. That's like telling the introverted kid in high school that he has to dress differently, speak differently, and act completely unnaturally in order to get more people to like him -- that's ridiculous.
The first step to this advancement, if it's not obvious enough already, is for a beta male to replace his self-doubt with confidence as his first layer of armor. From the inside outward, he must know that he is a good man just the way he is. He must know that he is capable and confident. He must know the right questions to ask to gain the knowledge he seeks.
He should never seek to change who he is, substitute his values, or try to emulate someone who has a completely different make up than his. Instead, he should believe that he has every right to his thoughts, his words, and his choices.
He should not feel crippled, defective, or mortally wounded by his mistakes. He should never feel that his shortcomings define him. And he should never think that anyone else's opinion of him can save or damn his very soul.
To put it short, he should be bold. Not tough, not badass, not cocky, and not full of himself. Bold.
Even if he feels afraid or nervous, he still feels confident. Even if he faces criticism or insults, he minimizes them as others' opinions, and not his own. Even if he loses or fails, he knows that dwelling on the losses or failures to often will immobilize him, and he keeps moving instead.
Pretty simple really. Shame on me for not spelling out earlier, but I've done it now instead.
So let's be Bold -- starting tomorrow!
I EXIST. I MATTER. I BELONG. I DESERVE.
I AM BULLETPROOF. I AM BOLD. I AM BETA.
This blog is meant for the advancement, redemption, and self actualization of those who have not been taught how to properly manage their emotions, and have suffered due to this lack of information. While we in no way defend those who have harmed us, we also do not make ourselves triggered and manipulated by people and things we cannot control. Through the application of the Eight Pillars, we can move forward and become the strong, unflappable, respectable people we were meant to be.
Showing posts with label confidence. Show all posts
Showing posts with label confidence. Show all posts
Sunday, April 27, 2014
Sunday, December 22, 2013
Raw Deals
Hey all, about that time. We're now beginning the Book of Exodus!
Joseph may have been the Man in Egypt, but his time ended. A few generations passed, and the Hebrews grew fruitful and multiplied, as commanded. But then new leadership took over, and felt threatened by the fruitfulness and enslaved them. When that didn't keep them in line, he ruled that all newborn Hebrew males must be drowned in the Nile.
Moses, son of a Levite, was spared this cruel fate by being sent down the Nile in a wicker basket, to be discovered by the Pharaoh's daughter, who raised him as her own. But instead of reveling in Egyptian power like Joseph did, Moses killed an Egyptian taskmaster he saw beating a slave, and became an urban legend among the other slaves for this actions, meaning he had to flee to Midian.
While he was hiding out, G-D appeared to Moses as a burning bush at Mount Horeb and chooses him to free the slaves from Egypt. He will go in G-D's name, explain this to the Hebrew elders, and explain that the Hebrews will be freed from slavery and given the land currently occupied by the Canaanites. He also assured Moses that he need not fear what the Egyptians might do, because He'll handle them. Pharaoh, similar to bullies of later generations, did not back off from anything unless it was stronger than him, so G-D would be Moses' muscle. And He'd get the average Egyptian to start sympathizing with the slaves, too!
And just to prove Who was making it all happened, He showed a few "signs and wonders." Moses still felt reluctant to take this job, as a "man of few words," but G-D told him to not even sweat it, He would give Moses the words, but if he'd rather use a mouthpiece anyway, He'll tap his long-lost brother Aaron into service. And don't worry about everyone who wanted to nail you for killing that taskmaster, the statute has run, so nobody's going to hold that against you.
So he and Aaron give the good news to the Hebrews, and put on the signs & wonders show, and they give them credence. They then ask Pharaoh to let the Hebrews go out for three days into the wilderness to sacrifice to G-D. Pharaoh not only shuts them down, he directs the slave to make bricks without providing them with the straw needed to do so.
Moses asks G-D why He allowed Pharaoh to hurt the Hebrews, and G-D says, "Just wait."
Sometimes we find ourselves with a goal or mission that makes little sense to others. Sometimes our reasoning looks crazy or stupid to those who think they know it all, and don't. But if you know for a fact that something is right, you do yourself a disservice when you hold back.
When Moses complained that he'd rather have someone else actually do the talking in Pharaoh's Court, the text indicates that G-D was angry with him for making that request. He had no problem talking with his fists when he killed a taskmaster to protect a slave, why is he getting scared to actually speak to Pharaoh? Possibly because that current Pharaoh grew up with him in the palace, and might be less receptive to his new role? Maybe because somebody could recognize his voice and say, "Why should we believe that this murderer is carrying a message from a foreign deity?" Either way, this was a big blunder on Moses' part, because he let guilt and fear from the past immobilize him.
He may have had a prior station in life that he had to give up for a good reason. But it was still his calling to free those same people for whom he killed to protect. Instead of realizing that his sense of justice, which led him to take a life, had come full circle, as he was now about to protect the entire Hebrew nation, instead of just one slave. But he was too scared to take on this role, so he had to have his own personal spokesman.
Not to get off on a tangent, but this reminds me of those situations where a family is involved in a newsworthy story, and who speaks to the media? A "family spokesperson." More often than not, this "family spokesperson" doesn't even have the same name as the family. And more often than not, this "family spokesperson" is defensive and abrasive, and forever demands that the media just "leave the family alone," knowing full well that this demand does not make the story less newsworthy. The "family spokesperson" does nothing but prevent the real parties to the story from making an appearance, and serves as a confirmation that the actual "family" are cowards who will not speak for themselves.
Not everyone stays cool and calm when visited by a forgotten diety who makes clear demands and scares you a little bit so you'll know He's real. Moses gets some credit because of that, but he could have grown enough courage to agree to challenge Pharaoh on his own, without Aaron as a "spokesperson," especially after G-D promised to protect him from anything that Pharaoh would try to do. This may explain why G-D allowed Pharaoh to tighten his grip on the Hebrews a little bit . . . if you doubt yourself, you'll lose ground, but if you trust yourself, you'll advance.
And so, my Beta Brothers, take this story from the beginning of Exodus to heart. As cute, adorable, and comfortable as it may be to be a reluctant and unassuming leader, it is far better in the long run to be a confident one. You can still be a nice guy, but try being nice and assertive simultaneously -- it really can be done!
Go Your Way . . . .
Joseph may have been the Man in Egypt, but his time ended. A few generations passed, and the Hebrews grew fruitful and multiplied, as commanded. But then new leadership took over, and felt threatened by the fruitfulness and enslaved them. When that didn't keep them in line, he ruled that all newborn Hebrew males must be drowned in the Nile.
Moses, son of a Levite, was spared this cruel fate by being sent down the Nile in a wicker basket, to be discovered by the Pharaoh's daughter, who raised him as her own. But instead of reveling in Egyptian power like Joseph did, Moses killed an Egyptian taskmaster he saw beating a slave, and became an urban legend among the other slaves for this actions, meaning he had to flee to Midian.
While he was hiding out, G-D appeared to Moses as a burning bush at Mount Horeb and chooses him to free the slaves from Egypt. He will go in G-D's name, explain this to the Hebrew elders, and explain that the Hebrews will be freed from slavery and given the land currently occupied by the Canaanites. He also assured Moses that he need not fear what the Egyptians might do, because He'll handle them. Pharaoh, similar to bullies of later generations, did not back off from anything unless it was stronger than him, so G-D would be Moses' muscle. And He'd get the average Egyptian to start sympathizing with the slaves, too!
And just to prove Who was making it all happened, He showed a few "signs and wonders." Moses still felt reluctant to take this job, as a "man of few words," but G-D told him to not even sweat it, He would give Moses the words, but if he'd rather use a mouthpiece anyway, He'll tap his long-lost brother Aaron into service. And don't worry about everyone who wanted to nail you for killing that taskmaster, the statute has run, so nobody's going to hold that against you.
So he and Aaron give the good news to the Hebrews, and put on the signs & wonders show, and they give them credence. They then ask Pharaoh to let the Hebrews go out for three days into the wilderness to sacrifice to G-D. Pharaoh not only shuts them down, he directs the slave to make bricks without providing them with the straw needed to do so.
Moses asks G-D why He allowed Pharaoh to hurt the Hebrews, and G-D says, "Just wait."
Sometimes we find ourselves with a goal or mission that makes little sense to others. Sometimes our reasoning looks crazy or stupid to those who think they know it all, and don't. But if you know for a fact that something is right, you do yourself a disservice when you hold back.
When Moses complained that he'd rather have someone else actually do the talking in Pharaoh's Court, the text indicates that G-D was angry with him for making that request. He had no problem talking with his fists when he killed a taskmaster to protect a slave, why is he getting scared to actually speak to Pharaoh? Possibly because that current Pharaoh grew up with him in the palace, and might be less receptive to his new role? Maybe because somebody could recognize his voice and say, "Why should we believe that this murderer is carrying a message from a foreign deity?" Either way, this was a big blunder on Moses' part, because he let guilt and fear from the past immobilize him.
He may have had a prior station in life that he had to give up for a good reason. But it was still his calling to free those same people for whom he killed to protect. Instead of realizing that his sense of justice, which led him to take a life, had come full circle, as he was now about to protect the entire Hebrew nation, instead of just one slave. But he was too scared to take on this role, so he had to have his own personal spokesman.
Not to get off on a tangent, but this reminds me of those situations where a family is involved in a newsworthy story, and who speaks to the media? A "family spokesperson." More often than not, this "family spokesperson" doesn't even have the same name as the family. And more often than not, this "family spokesperson" is defensive and abrasive, and forever demands that the media just "leave the family alone," knowing full well that this demand does not make the story less newsworthy. The "family spokesperson" does nothing but prevent the real parties to the story from making an appearance, and serves as a confirmation that the actual "family" are cowards who will not speak for themselves.
Not everyone stays cool and calm when visited by a forgotten diety who makes clear demands and scares you a little bit so you'll know He's real. Moses gets some credit because of that, but he could have grown enough courage to agree to challenge Pharaoh on his own, without Aaron as a "spokesperson," especially after G-D promised to protect him from anything that Pharaoh would try to do. This may explain why G-D allowed Pharaoh to tighten his grip on the Hebrews a little bit . . . if you doubt yourself, you'll lose ground, but if you trust yourself, you'll advance.
And so, my Beta Brothers, take this story from the beginning of Exodus to heart. As cute, adorable, and comfortable as it may be to be a reluctant and unassuming leader, it is far better in the long run to be a confident one. You can still be a nice guy, but try being nice and assertive simultaneously -- it really can be done!
Go Your Way . . . .
Sunday, September 23, 2012
Now That Felt Good!
Hey All, it's Sunday night!
Today, I had pretty good race. Ran in the 18-Mile Tune-Up at Central Park, and wasn't sure how I'd do. Last week I tried to do 16 miles on my own crossing the Queensborough Bridge and back, but good old MapMyRun just wasn't cooperating that day. Got a big fat "Auto-Pause" instead of an accurate tracking, so I couldn't really gauge how I did.
Today, however, felt different. This was three loops of the big 6-mile loop of Central Park, including Harlem Hill! I tried to start out slow and relaxed, but I fell in with a chatty bunch, including a pace group leader for other races who had a million stories to tell, and wound up doing a 9-minute pace along with them. I worried whether I was wasting what I'd need for the end, and then took a mint chocolate chip Gu with a Powerade chaser as I began the second loop at Mile 6. That sent a few bursts of energy through me, and I found myself coming close to 8-minute splits. After a while, I just dialed in that pace and stayed with it as long as I could, although that second Gu at Mile 12 didn't hurt matters. Towards the end, I felt myself slowing a tiny bit, but I reminded myself that the finish line was near. Right on cue, I came within range of the PA system, reminding the runners still competing to stay in the rec lanes on the left side of the road and leave the rest of the park to everyone else. Lady, you can remind us all you want, I'm coming in for the home stretch! So as soon as I saw the turn on the 102nd Street transverse, I booked it!
Met up with that chatty bunch later, and we compared "gun times," and extrapolated them to likely marathon times. Mine was 2:34, and I was pretty happy with that, but I wanted to wait until the "chip time" was available before logging it with good old MapMyRun. After I did, and posted it on Facebook, I got a lot of likes and comments that made me smile! :)
I'd like to thank everybody for the congrats and accolades, but this isn't the end by any means. The first Sunday in November, I've gotta stare down 26.2 miles on a journey through the Five Boroughs of NYC. So in between then and now, I've gotta do at least one 20-miler on my own, and then taper down. I'll keep you all posted, of course.
But it's not all about me, you understand. Another triumph today was that of a good friend of mine who competed in a duathlon outside Buffalo, and placed second in her age group! As a prize, she was awarded a snazzy-jazzy plate specifically designated for second place in her age group, and a free jar of peanut butter, LOL! I still think they should switch to Nutella, but that's just me. :)
Either way you slice it, this really is a good way to start the New Year that many of my tribespeople are celebrating. I've talked a little bit about new beginnings, about starting classes at a metaphorical new school, and making changes in life. This race was one good way to get a jump-start on that, as I needed a little boost of confidence to get started on all of those things. I hope to ride these new changes all the way to Marathon Sunday and beyond, and in other senses besides running. This year I'm also going to be re-kindling old friendships, making new ones, and making vast improvements and overhauls to this part-time hobby I call my blog. To the extent I can't see what can be done to make it better now, I plan to enlist expert opinions of those who know how to make these things successes, and continue to make great connections and spread a little extra confidence, self-esteem, and good old-fashioned happiness to all who read it.
Back to work tomorrow, peeps! Monday awaits . . . . :)
Today, I had pretty good race. Ran in the 18-Mile Tune-Up at Central Park, and wasn't sure how I'd do. Last week I tried to do 16 miles on my own crossing the Queensborough Bridge and back, but good old MapMyRun just wasn't cooperating that day. Got a big fat "Auto-Pause" instead of an accurate tracking, so I couldn't really gauge how I did.
Today, however, felt different. This was three loops of the big 6-mile loop of Central Park, including Harlem Hill! I tried to start out slow and relaxed, but I fell in with a chatty bunch, including a pace group leader for other races who had a million stories to tell, and wound up doing a 9-minute pace along with them. I worried whether I was wasting what I'd need for the end, and then took a mint chocolate chip Gu with a Powerade chaser as I began the second loop at Mile 6. That sent a few bursts of energy through me, and I found myself coming close to 8-minute splits. After a while, I just dialed in that pace and stayed with it as long as I could, although that second Gu at Mile 12 didn't hurt matters. Towards the end, I felt myself slowing a tiny bit, but I reminded myself that the finish line was near. Right on cue, I came within range of the PA system, reminding the runners still competing to stay in the rec lanes on the left side of the road and leave the rest of the park to everyone else. Lady, you can remind us all you want, I'm coming in for the home stretch! So as soon as I saw the turn on the 102nd Street transverse, I booked it!
Met up with that chatty bunch later, and we compared "gun times," and extrapolated them to likely marathon times. Mine was 2:34, and I was pretty happy with that, but I wanted to wait until the "chip time" was available before logging it with good old MapMyRun. After I did, and posted it on Facebook, I got a lot of likes and comments that made me smile! :)
I'd like to thank everybody for the congrats and accolades, but this isn't the end by any means. The first Sunday in November, I've gotta stare down 26.2 miles on a journey through the Five Boroughs of NYC. So in between then and now, I've gotta do at least one 20-miler on my own, and then taper down. I'll keep you all posted, of course.
But it's not all about me, you understand. Another triumph today was that of a good friend of mine who competed in a duathlon outside Buffalo, and placed second in her age group! As a prize, she was awarded a snazzy-jazzy plate specifically designated for second place in her age group, and a free jar of peanut butter, LOL! I still think they should switch to Nutella, but that's just me. :)
Either way you slice it, this really is a good way to start the New Year that many of my tribespeople are celebrating. I've talked a little bit about new beginnings, about starting classes at a metaphorical new school, and making changes in life. This race was one good way to get a jump-start on that, as I needed a little boost of confidence to get started on all of those things. I hope to ride these new changes all the way to Marathon Sunday and beyond, and in other senses besides running. This year I'm also going to be re-kindling old friendships, making new ones, and making vast improvements and overhauls to this part-time hobby I call my blog. To the extent I can't see what can be done to make it better now, I plan to enlist expert opinions of those who know how to make these things successes, and continue to make great connections and spread a little extra confidence, self-esteem, and good old-fashioned happiness to all who read it.
Back to work tomorrow, peeps! Monday awaits . . . . :)
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