Sharing Our Thoughts - An Extra Post

The answers to many of our problems are not immediately made clear.  Sometimes they involve painstaking research of authoritative sources.  Other times, they involve deep soul-searching, which is far more difficult.  And yes, sometimes, they're out here in the blogosphere, and they involve answers both from within and without.

Tonight, I was about to post something, as a follow-up to the post about the Connecticut shooting, that would have been full of righteous anger, pain-driven fury, and unresolved grudges.  However, a faithful reader of mine, who will go nameless, reminded me of one of my earlier posts, namely "Who's In Control" from January 29, 2012, where I talked about how to maintain control over the thought process and not be consumed by stress, fear, anger, hate, etc.  She can be credited not only with (a) reminding me that once my words are out there, people do read them; and (b) completely altering what I was about to post.  So you see, the answer was already within me (I wrote it and apparently needed to re-read it), and was also external (she reminded me about it)!

(see also, "Don't Hulk Out," from November 20, 2011)

What can I say . . .  even though I present myself as an amateur guru/philosopher/anti-bullying crusader/self-help authority, I'm still flesh and blood.  I still get angry sometimes, and if something gets under my skin deep enough, I need to proceed carefully with a metaphorical tweezers to remove it.  It appears that my friend just provided them, helped me remove this splinter of negativity, and even cleanse the wound to prevent infection . . . and she did it by saying "Look, David, I found your tweezers!"

Hey, even Richard Carlson has been reminded to not "sweat the small stuff" by his children many a time!

This friend of mind has also been blogging quite a bit about her own life experiences, and they appear to be a fascinating read.  She's chosen to do it anonymously, which I respect, but she's also granted permission to me to post a link to it.  Check the blogroll down below, and you'll see it.

So that's my second of two posts for this Sunday night.  Have a good week, all!

People Who Need People

Good Evening All -- while there's always something to be said for Thanksgiving, I've noticed that the Black Friday post from last year still gets tons of hits every week around the world.  Why mess with a good thing?  I just reposted it.

This time of year, when family is brought back into focus, we're reminded of how important it really is to have people in your life who are loyal, who care, and are genuinely interested in your well-being.  There's something about being around an extended table full of food, which may or may not include a "kiddie table," with people you cherish and respect that can make you feel like you're part of something a little bigger than yourself.  And whether we celebrate Chanukah or Christmas, that closeness is likely to be repeated in December as well.

The question is, whether certain people really need that closeness, and if so, if it's needed during the rest of the year.  There are many of us who are content to simply live their own lives by their own terms, without any  outside influence whatsoever.  They are self-made, self-driven, fiercely independent, and firmly believe that they don't need to be involved with anyone, family or otherwise, to have a fulfilling life.  Chances are, they're right.  There are a lot more people who are unmarried and childless these days than in prior years, and lots of people are simply content to be "on their own."  There are numerous reasons for this phenomenon that don't require review, suffice it to say that it's just personal preference.

However, no man or woman is an island.  As the recent hurricane has taught us, we all need somebody.  Somebody who can temporarily provide us with food, shelter, and electricity when a natural disaster takes them away from us.  Somebody who can console and comfort us if we've suffered a loss or a tragedy.  Somebody who can just be there and make us feel like everything is OK, and possibly make us laugh or crack a smile.

Those of you who know me know that I tend to be independent and individualistic.  I've always tried to be one of those people who achieved whatever I've gotten on my own, and not through the aid of others.  But the fact of the matter is, it's not possible to be a loner in every area of one's life.  Without family, be it by blood relatives, a spouse, friends, or a significant other, we simply can't survive.

As I've mentioned before, my parents have been very supportive and helpful to me this year, and I haven't forgotten it.  I was privileged to be able to spend a week with them this year, and to break bread with a few other families at the table.  They reminded me that, even if I am independent, and not a follow-the-crowd type, family must remain my home base and support system throughout my life.  And that goes for everyone else, too.

So, even after we've headed back to work, we'll be returning home for the holidays once more in a few weeks.  Let's be thankful for the family we all have, be they blood relatives, spouses, or just really close friends.  Even if we're all rugged individuals, and are complete by ourselves, we still need them far more than we might admit.

That's my piece for this evening -- have a good night and rest easy!

Who's On Your Team?

Good evening, good evening all:

The Stanley Cup playoffs are in full swing. No, my beloved Islanders are not in it, but that's being offset by the other two New York area teams on the brink of getting bounced out of the first round. When being taunted by fans of those franchises, I often query which is worse -- not making the playoffs at all, or getting there and losing horribly?

But when I think about hockey, I think about how much of a team sport it really is. Not like basketball, where just one player can dominate the game, and not like baseball or football, where there are too many scenarios where just one player can win it, or lose it, all.   In hockey, teams win or lose based on how they function as a singular unit.   Which line is best for the power play?   Which one is best for penalty killing?   Who's forechecking better, or cross-checking harder?   And who can protect others from the "goons" and "enforcers?"   And, oh yeah, who can actually score some goals, and who's good with assists?

So, who's on your team?   Is there someone you can pass to?   Is there someone tough on defense?   Is there someone who brings confidence to the dressing room and brings your game to the next level?

Or is there someone who causes too much drama? Someone who tries to look better than you? Someone who exploits your weaknesses, erodes your confidence, and gives you pause to leave the team, or demand that they leave?

Take a look around at your own "teammates." This includes family, friends, co-workers, you name it. Who's on your team?   Is someone treating you more like an enemy than a friend?   Is someone going out of their way to one-up you all the time?   Is someone making you feel less like a teammate and more like the water boy/girl?

News flash, rook.   You're not just a player on your team, you're also the coach.   And the GM, and the president/CEO.   If you can see that someone in your life is not a team player, you can trade them.   Real easy-like.   For a draft pick, for minor-league prospects, or better yet for someone who doesn't desperately need to put others down in order to be satisfied with life.

Why bother keeping them? A winning team is made of winners, not cheaters, posers, or time-wasters. You can give them a few chances, just to be fair, if that's your team. After that, if they think it's a lot more fun to play games than it is to play your game, then cut them.  Please!  Your true fans will be clamoring that "_____ MUST GO!"  And once you listen to them, you're on your way to the Cup!

Feel free to comment, and once again, welcome to my new friends on Google +!