What's The Opposite of an Alphole, Anyway?

Hey All!  End of a niiiice summer weekend, work tomorrow, and I think we're ready.

When I first coined the term "alphole," people turned their offense-o-meters way up and let your buddy David hear it loud and clear.  How I dare I use such a term?  How dare I "generalize," even if these people are real?  How dare I say the emperor is wearing no clothes when it's not "cool" to say it?

I'm ashamed to admit I haven't been posting consistently this summer, but I can assure you I wasn't caving in or kowtowing to such groupthink.  We Bold Betas are destined to face alpholes no matter what we do, and we must be prepared to protect ourselves against their misdeeds, provided we do not stoop to their level and follow the alphaganda.

But I'd like to speak about another type of person we might come across - and this person is the absolute 180-degree opposite of an alphole.  

Many of you reading this might not have someone in your life who fits this description.  There are ways to find them, and this may require you to be somewhat selective.  It means you have to set certain criteria as to who you invite into your life, and you have to reject those who don't meet them for the sake of self-preservation.  That way, it's impossible to be anyone else's follower or lackey.

Take away all those who don't make the cut, and who do you have?  People who get you.  People who understand you.  People who accept you as you are.  People who genuinely like you and care about you.  And more importantly, you'll feel exactly the same way about them.

And once you make that connection, you'll want to make them just as happy as they've made you.  This will feel effortless.  This will feel right.  And this will make you feel even more Bold and Bulletproof than you already feel, because you'll be sharing your strength with another.  Not sacrificing your own self worth to someone else, and not commandeering someone who's nobody on their own.  No, you're making each other better.

So what's the opposite of an alphole?  An S.Y.L.  Someone You Love.

Ain't that a pip.  I guess this blog isn't always about disparaging those who make our lives difficult and unpleasant.  Make no mistake, the alpholes still don't get away with it.  But one good way to stay Bold and Bulletproof is to replace the alpholes in our lives with as many SYL's as we can find.

There's no limit to the places you'll go with them!

Who's On Your Team?

Good evening, good evening all:

The Stanley Cup playoffs are in full swing. No, my beloved Islanders are not in it, but that's being offset by the other two New York area teams on the brink of getting bounced out of the first round. When being taunted by fans of those franchises, I often query which is worse -- not making the playoffs at all, or getting there and losing horribly?

But when I think about hockey, I think about how much of a team sport it really is. Not like basketball, where just one player can dominate the game, and not like baseball or football, where there are too many scenarios where just one player can win it, or lose it, all.   In hockey, teams win or lose based on how they function as a singular unit.   Which line is best for the power play?   Which one is best for penalty killing?   Who's forechecking better, or cross-checking harder?   And who can protect others from the "goons" and "enforcers?"   And, oh yeah, who can actually score some goals, and who's good with assists?

So, who's on your team?   Is there someone you can pass to?   Is there someone tough on defense?   Is there someone who brings confidence to the dressing room and brings your game to the next level?

Or is there someone who causes too much drama? Someone who tries to look better than you? Someone who exploits your weaknesses, erodes your confidence, and gives you pause to leave the team, or demand that they leave?

Take a look around at your own "teammates." This includes family, friends, co-workers, you name it. Who's on your team?   Is someone treating you more like an enemy than a friend?   Is someone going out of their way to one-up you all the time?   Is someone making you feel less like a teammate and more like the water boy/girl?

News flash, rook.   You're not just a player on your team, you're also the coach.   And the GM, and the president/CEO.   If you can see that someone in your life is not a team player, you can trade them.   Real easy-like.   For a draft pick, for minor-league prospects, or better yet for someone who doesn't desperately need to put others down in order to be satisfied with life.

Why bother keeping them? A winning team is made of winners, not cheaters, posers, or time-wasters. You can give them a few chances, just to be fair, if that's your team. After that, if they think it's a lot more fun to play games than it is to play your game, then cut them.  Please!  Your true fans will be clamoring that "_____ MUST GO!"  And once you listen to them, you're on your way to the Cup!

Feel free to comment, and once again, welcome to my new friends on Google +!