Hate in Christchurch, New Zealand

Good Evening All - Hope you all had a Happy St. Patty's Day Weekend!

The world has witnessed another tragic and violent episode, this time all the way down in New Zealand.  An alleged terrorist and murderer, seemingly taking his cue from the Tree of Life Synagogue massacre in Squirrel Hill, Pennsylvania, took it upon himself to murder everyone present for Friday worship services at two mosques.  After leaving a trail of carnage, prompted in no small part by hatred for Muslims, he was apprehended.

We have heard several predictable responses to this tragedy.  I'll respond to all of them.

(1)  It's the guns!  No guns!  Nobody needs a gun!  It's the mosque worshippers fault, they should have had guns!  Not the answer, either way.  If that gun were in the hands of responsible folks, and not this murderer, he might have found another means of violence to use.  And since this happened in another country, there is no Second Amendment issue.  Let New Zealand address its own gun laws within its own authority.

(2)  So what?  They had it coming!  Look what they do!  Look how evil they are!  They deserved it!  Wrong again.  These were human beings.  They assembled to worship their god on their weekly holy day as they saw fit.  That's not a reason to kill them.  And unless they're about to do you, or that killer, imminent harm, or if you have real grounds for a pre-emptive strike, there is no excuse for that kind of violence.

(3)  But what about these ones?  But what about those ones?  Why don't they get the same media coverage?  What about them?  Nobody says the mainstream media is perfect, but the most unusual events are the ones that trigger the most coverage.  Let's not have competitions over who is a more deserving victim - that's where we really get into trouble.

THE STOIC ANSWER:

(A)  We have people in this world who become consumed by hate.  And we have weapons.  And they unfortunately have ways of being brought together.   The governments of countries where this happens can pass laws against the illegal use of these weapons, but they cannot outlaw people's thoughts and opinions, or their abilities to circumvent those laws, as horrible as they may be. 

(B)  We cannot stop fully-grown adults from hating other races or other religions, and the laws themselves cannot prevent them from taking up arms against the objects of their hate. 

(C)  Also, demonizing these people, as evil as they may be, does not make them turn into Ebenezer Scrooge and completely change their ways.  It also doesn't make us look like heroes and champions - it makes us just as filled with the hatred that they have.

(D)  We can, however, decide that we won't hate members of other races or religions.  That doesn't mean wearing pins and T-shirts and joining candle-light vigils, and then forgetting about it all when things calm down.  It also doesn't mean we'll expose, defame, and sling mud at people who have different opinions than we do in the name of "stamping out hate."  It only means we won't hate, period.

(E)  We can instead read, research, and learn about the ways of others.  By way of illustration, when I was in seventh grade, I read books about the Soviet Union and Nazi Germany, notwithstanding the fact that I was American and Jewish, because I wanted to understand them instead of merely demonizing them.  Let's try the same thing for all perceived adversaries.

(F)  As stated in (B), we can't re-program fully-grown adults who've been taught the wrong thing and have acted on them.  We can, however, raise and teach our children to Respect All, and not to Hate Them (whomever Them might be).

And of course, last but not least, instead of seeking revenge or retribution, we can seek this invocation:

There's A Lady Named Karma.  She's Not Attracted To Bad Boys And She's Not Friends With Mean Girls.  Leave Vengeance To Her - She's Got Better Tools At Her Disposal.

With the assistance of the New Zealander justice system, the murderer will be prosecuted for his crimes, and will live with the deaths of his victims for the rest of his life.  Do not target politicians and ideologues as the proxy for the punishment you think you're entitled to dish out to that murderer - you're not entitled to dish out anything (including eggs).  Instead, look within to ensure that you yourself never take up arms out of hate, and that you teach any children you have to not do likewise. 

Ooof - that was a heavy one - see what happens when you don't down that Guinness for St. Patty's?  I'll salute the Irish, but I'll stand with New Zealand - they didn't deserve this.

I EXIST.  I MATTER.  I BELONG.  I DESERVE.

RESPECT ALL.  BEFRIEND FEW.  LOVE ONE.  HATE NONE.

EMOTIONAL MATURITY.

Please DM me with any lengthy or debate-ready comments.

A Turn For The Worst

Hello All!  Watching my Jets lose to the Patriots, no shock there.

Yesterday, two NYPD police officers were murdered, no, assassinated.  Someone truly evil thought that he could earn payback for the decisions of grand juries in St. Louis County, Missouri, and Richmond County, New York, to not indict officers with homicide charges by somehow taking justice into his own hands. 

A few days before that, a major motion picture studio cancels the release of a simple-minded bro-comedy because the government of another country employed hackers to wreak havoc on its computer network.

Where have we gone wrong?!!?!?!?


Who says that the way to correct society's wrongs are to swing the pendulum the other way as hard as possible?  Exactly what problems did that approach ever solve?!?!?

And what makes us think that just giving in to someone who tries to bully us, because they "can kick our ass," is the right thing to do?

(1) CONCEDING, ABDICATING, AND APPEASING SOMEONE WITH NO AUTHORITY OVER YOU WHATSOEVER IS A HUGE MISTAKE.  It gives them carte blanche to do it over and over again, because they've been shown that no consequences will result.  This can, of course, be corrected later, but that first instance of doing so is very costly.  They have no say in what a studio in our country can or cannot produce.

(2) RESORTING TO BRUTE FORCE, OTHER THAN IN SELF-DEFENSE, IS NEVER AN ANSWER TO SOCIETY'S ILLS.  We do not live in a comic book, and we are not governed by mob rule.  Reform police procedure if you must, enact new laws and repeal old ones if you're so inclined.  NONE OF THIS "OCCUPY," NEO-HIPPIE, PSEUDO-COUNTERCULTURE, ISIS-LOVING, ANARCHIST WAY OF THINKING WILL SOLVE ANYTHING.

As beta males, we encounter very similar choices in our quest for self-fulfillment.  Do we just do as we're told, or do we make a difference?  Do we think about realistic solutions for problems that plague us, or do we turn into animals?

It doesn't take an expert to see the right decision.  It shouldn't anyway.

I EXIST.  I MATTER.  I BELONG.  I DESERVE.

I AM BOLD.  I AM BULLETPROOF.  I AM BETA.

The Carjacking at Short Hills Mall

Hey All --

A very sad story developed this week.  At a mall on Short Hills, New Jersey, a young husband was murdered by carjackers when he tried to defend his wife from being hurt, and his vehicle from being stolen.  Without undue delay, all four suspects were arrested, while a young widow was left only with memories of how her beloved shared his life with her, and ultimately gave it for her.

Most law enforcement agents have been warning us for years, that if it looks like a life and death matter, just let the thugs take your car.  The vehicle can either be retraced with LoJack, or possibly replaced, but people can't.  This is obviously the safer choice, but to borrow a Star Trek quote, we will not debate the murder victim's judgment at these proceedings.

But I will address relationships instead.  Last week I spoke about how there are women who would rather be with an alphole instead of a nice guy.  This may or may not be another reason why.

Some will admit it, and some won't, but many women still would prefer a man who could turn into a superhero, beat up the bad guys, slay the dragon, and take any hit that comes his way, as long as it keeps her safe from harm.  The expectation is that those alpholes, so badass and fearless, would turn into Jason Statham and lay those thugs out all by themselves.  In this regard, the women don't really see these men as alpholes at all, but as superheroes and as knights in shining armor, who have earned the right to show a small amount of cockiness, like Han Solo.  I question how many of those alpholes can really live up to all that posturing, but that's another post for another time.

99.9% of the time, there is no need for men in a civilized society to have these skills, as the chance of being so threatened is less likely than it was in the Old West or in the Middle Ages.  However, here we have the 0.1% of the time that the choice must be made.

Gentlemen, a central purpose of this blog is to convince you, the beta males, that you can still be assertive, confident, self-respecting, and even courageous, without behaving like an alphole or compromising your values.  The facts we've learned about this murder victim's tragically short life demonstrates that he was not an alphole in the slightest.  Rather, he was a loyal and loving husband who chose to disregard his own safety in favor of his wife's safety.  The (alleged) alpholes in this story have all been apprehended, and unless they hire a top-flight defense attorney, they will receive their comeuppance.

But make no mistake.  If you want to get married, even if you are living in the safest neighborhood possible, even if you've never been in a bar fight, even if there is no badass quality about you to speak of, be aware that your wife to be expects you to do the same thing that this man did.  In the heat of the moment, she may beg you not to step up to the criminal, but she really wants you to protect her anyway.

I'm not saying that this is right or wrong, but I am saying that this is real.  And life or death situations do not lend themselves to discussions of values or morals.

Hopefully, if you find yourself in this kind of situation, you would survive with a few scars, some PTSD, and an interview on the Today Show.  But the expectation is that you prepare yourself to lay down your life for your beloved.  If you are unsure whether or not you're able to do this, then you shouldn't get married.

And if you are already married, do a gut check.  Can you stand up to someone who has a gun to protect your wife?  Yes, some of you may be permitted to have a weapon on you already, but most of you don't.  Can you still face down an armed criminal while you're unarmed?  If not, get yourself in counseling and figure out why that is, so you can take the appropriate action.

Last but not least, I extend my sincerest condolences to the family of Dustin Friedland.  A good man and a loyal husband did not deserve to have his life cut short by miscreants.  I can only hope that you receive some measure of justice, and that it somehow provides closure for your loss.

The Wrong Way

Hey hey all -- my technical difficulties have now been rectified.  When you keep a laptop with Windows Vista for five years, you have to expect a Windows or McAfee update to go "down the wrong pipe" and cause trouble.  I thank the expert techie who helped me out of that jam.  One of these days your friendly neighborhood blogger needs to join the '10s and buy himself an iPad!

We gotta talk about yesterday's tragic events at the Empire State Building.  Just what the heck happened with this Jeffrey Johnson?  A year after losing a job, he tries to put a point-blank mob hit on an ex-co-worker in broad daylight? 

The thing that really doesn't make sense is that he lost his job a year ago.  A temporary desire for revenge is expected immediately after losing one's job, but a year later, even if times are still tough, that desire should have waned, or better yet disappeared.

Couldn't someone have helped this man out?  Couldn't he have tried to help himself?  Or better yet, did the murder victim bully or torment Johnson that badly, or cause his termination, or act spitefully or snarkily?  We haven't heard all the details yet, even in the year 2012, but they may explain a few things.

The archives of this blog are jam-packed with posts that rail against bullying and those who permit it to happen.  It's no secret that I expect effective consequences to be delivered against bullies, gangsters, and miscreants without abandon.  But never, and the Rock means never, have I ever suggested that victims deprive these bandejos of their very lives.   Murder is never the answer. 

The Columbine killers were bullied so much they probably didn't understand right and wrong anymore -- they were still wrong to kill.  The Colorado "Joker" may have had some issue with Batman fans -- still wrong anyway.  Tons of employees of the United States Postal Service have laid waste to their employer -- not the right move no matter how frustrating the life must be.

People who wrong you are asking for consequences, without a doubt.  But unless they have a gun to your head or are interested in leaving your body living but violated (and not "legitimately," Captain Wordsmith Akin) in the immediate future, ending their lives is not the way to solve the problem.  As I've said before, we don't live in a comic book.  You don't get to be a hero for blowing someone away just because you're so unbelievably badass.  You get to be a criminal, a terrorist, or a corpse yourself.

I may be borrowing a quote from my adversaries, the "we-don't-care-it-doesn't-bother-me-it's-your-problem" crowd, but this time I think they're right.  There is such a thing as "natural consequences."  Some may call it karma, G-D's will, or bad juju, but it exists no matter what name it has.  When people wrong you, you have an obligation to protect yourself and to present consequences for your tormentor's actions.  But that obligation is limited by reason, common sense, and basic human dignity.  Did someone backstab you last year and cost you a promotion?  You don't have to pretend to believe that schmucking fool's friend, but you can still stop grinding your teeth in their presence.  Did someone embarrass you at Boy Scout Camp back during childhood?  For all you know, he may have contracted a terminal illness and died a slow and painful death.  Did someone make you feel useless, inadequate, abject, and deserving of abuse when you were young?  For you know, he may be unemployable due to a criminal record and still living at home well into his 30's or 40's.

Point being, our window of opportunity to dispense consequences is limited by time, space, and natural law.  We do not decide that an offense other than murder warrants death, only G-D does.  We do not pretend we're in a Rambo movie and that anyone who tries to stop you from killing deserves to die worse.  Stand up for yourself, live by the Four Pillars, and shut people down when they try to hurt you, but don't let it expand to homicide.

And oh, by the way -- some of the examples of natural consequences I listed above are true stories.

Comment, like, retweet, do your thing, peeps!

Super Heroes

This past weekend, a midnight premier of "The Dark Night Rises," the final chapter in the current Batman franchise, was disrupted when a gunman armed with an arsenal of automatic and/or semi-automatic weapons allegedly killed 12 people and injured 38 people in a theater in Aurora, Colorado. We're all stunned, shocked, and angry at what has happened, because it's horrible on so many levels.

On the political front, the gun control debate will now be out of control.  The NRA and its supporters will remind us that guns do not kill, people do, and the gun control advocates will demand investigations as to how James Holes obtained his entire arsenal legally.

What infuriates me is the circumstances under which this mass murder occurred -- while innocent movie-goers were about to watch a movie about a comics super hero.  A super hero who would have wiped the floor with James Holmes if some bored writer had decided to insert a character like him into the comics.  That alone makes this mass murder almost as disgusting and contemptible as bombing a house of worship during services.

We fantasize about super heroes because they can do what we can't.  A dark and brooding billionaire, forever mourning the loss of his parents, can invest in weapons that the defense department can't afford, invent an alter-ego for himself, and spend his nights putting life and limb at risk to put the fear of G-D into all criminals.  The rest of us are far more limited.

(to my Marvel-reading friends, he and Iron Man are kindred spirits in that neither hero has any powers, but they both have unreal weapons and gadgets, but I just can't take Tony Stark seriously -- especially not the way Robert Downey Jr. plays him as a major league -----le.  But I digress.)

I can think of no greater desecration or than executing such a carefully premeditated plan to kill people who actually wanted to escape reality for a while and imagine that there really was a Batman.  To suspend reality temporarily, and watch a story about a larger-than-life figure with no fear, few weaknesses, and an obsession with bringing criminals to justice.  When Mr. Holmes allegedly caused the deaths of his victims, which included young children, he not only violated their lives.  He also violated the imagination of comic book fans and movie-goers everywhere, and mocked our desire to simply go out and be entertained.

Now people are reconsidering whether movie theaters are safe places to be.  Just like any other terrorist, this miscreant has frightened us back into our homes for his own twisted reasons, and robbed us of part of our freedom.  If I had my druthers, I'd hire a UFC fighter to dress as Batman and and give this fool a beatdown!

However, as I've said in prior posts, we don't live in a comic book.   We do not live in a world of vigilante justice.  We live in a civilized society with laws.  Thank G-D this wanna-be Joker was apprehended within minutes of his departure from the theater.  Thank G-D law enforcement was able to disengage the many bombs and booby traps he set in his apartment, which could have caused even more death and destruction.  And thank G-D we have a justice system which will resolve this matter properly.  I wouldn't call any of them super heroes, but without Batman himself, they're the closest thing we have.

So my thoughts and prayers are with the families of the victims of this massacre, and with the survivors as well.  I can only hope that we can move on from this as from any other disaster -- stronger and wiser -- and that this loser learns that being a super-villaim is less glamorous than he may have assumed.  Most importantly, may we keep believing in super heroes -- real-life villains can only win if we stop believing.