Hey All --
A very sad story developed this week. At a mall on Short Hills, New Jersey, a young husband was murdered by carjackers when he tried to defend his wife from being hurt, and his vehicle from being stolen. Without undue delay, all four suspects were arrested, while a young widow was left only with memories of how her beloved shared his life with her, and ultimately gave it for her.
Most law enforcement agents have been warning us for years, that if it looks like a life and death matter, just let the thugs take your car. The vehicle can either be retraced with LoJack, or possibly replaced, but people can't. This is obviously the safer choice, but to borrow a Star Trek quote, we will not debate the murder victim's judgment at these proceedings.
But I will address relationships instead. Last week I spoke about how there are women who would rather be with an alphole instead of a nice guy. This may or may not be another reason why.
Some will admit it, and some won't, but many women still would prefer a man who could turn into a superhero, beat up the bad guys, slay the dragon, and take any hit that comes his way, as long as it keeps her safe from harm. The expectation is that those alpholes, so badass and fearless, would turn into Jason Statham and lay those thugs out all by themselves. In this regard, the women don't really see these men as alpholes at all, but as superheroes and as knights in shining armor, who have earned the right to show a small amount of cockiness, like Han Solo. I question how many of those alpholes can really live up to all that posturing, but that's another post for another time.
99.9% of the time, there is no need for men in a civilized society to have these skills, as the chance of being so threatened is less likely than it was in the Old West or in the Middle Ages. However, here we have the 0.1% of the time that the choice must be made.
Gentlemen, a central purpose of this blog is to convince you, the beta males, that you can still be assertive, confident, self-respecting, and even courageous, without behaving like an alphole or compromising your values. The facts we've learned about this murder victim's tragically short life demonstrates that he was not an alphole in the slightest. Rather, he was a loyal and loving husband who chose to disregard his own safety in favor of his wife's safety. The (alleged) alpholes in this story have all been apprehended, and unless they hire a top-flight defense attorney, they will receive their comeuppance.
But make no mistake. If you want to get married, even if you are living in the safest neighborhood possible, even if you've never been in a bar fight, even if there is no badass quality about you to speak of, be aware that your wife to be expects you to do the same thing that this man did. In the heat of the moment, she may beg you not to step up to the criminal, but she really wants you to protect her anyway.
I'm not saying that this is right or wrong, but I am saying that this is real. And life or death situations do not lend themselves to discussions of values or morals.
Hopefully, if you find yourself in this kind of situation, you would survive with a few scars, some PTSD, and an interview on the Today Show. But the expectation is that you prepare yourself to lay down your life for your beloved. If you are unsure whether or not you're able to do this, then you shouldn't get married.
And if you are already married, do a gut check. Can you stand up to someone who has a gun to protect your wife? Yes, some of you may be permitted to have a weapon on you already, but most of you don't. Can you still face down an armed criminal while you're unarmed? If not, get yourself in counseling and figure out why that is, so you can take the appropriate action.
Last but not least, I extend my sincerest condolences to the family of Dustin Friedland. A good man and a loyal husband did not deserve to have his life cut short by miscreants. I can only hope that you receive some measure of justice, and that it somehow provides closure for your loss.