Of Pride And Celebration

Hey All.  Hope you're enjoying this first weekend of summer.  Kids out of school, teachers on vacation, both houses of Congress and many state and local legislatures ready to take a break.

This weekend is also being celebrated in many cities to acknowledge what we know as Pride - the celebration of acceptance of the LGBTQ community.

For generations, members of this community have faced discrimination, contempt, and bullying of extreme proportions.  It is encouraging to know that society has essentially opened its armed and accepted those with different sexual orientations than what was traditionally expected as the one and only way.  Laws are now in place that prevent discrimination against members of this community in all areas, including application for a marriage license.

For that, I congratulate this community.  You have come a long way, and you've earned it all.

However, with freedom, also comes responsibility.

When individuals are groups are discriminated against, marginalized, or hated in some way, it's very easy to play tit-for-tat.  It's very easy to demand that the pendulum be swung the other way hard.  It's very easy to demand revenge, very easy to demonize, and very easy to point a finger at someone else who seems "privileged" because they did not suffer the same adversity.  That's where we have a small problem.

The vast majority of those of us who are heterosexual have absolutely nothing against the LGBTQ community.  Speaking for myself, I know how amazing it feels to be in love with someone and be ready to marry them.  I am nobody to say that someone doesn't have that right simply because that love is aimed towards someone of the same gender.

Still, there is a minority that still has trouble accepting it.  They should accept it, as we have.  But forcing them to do so, or face civil or criminal penalties, is not the right way to solve that problem.

Part of Emotional Maturity means understanding that universal acceptance of who you are and what you say simply cannot happen.  Even if you achieve mass acclaim and overall acceptance, there will always be people who will not accept you, and nothing you, or I, or anyone else says will change that.

PERFECT EXAMPLE:  When I began this blog, and I wrote about the virtues of being a Bold Beta Male, and rejecting the idea that every man always be aggressive and abrasive, a particularly unfriendly critic told me that "the only people who are going to listen to you are gays."  I stayed silent.

As mean-spirited and below-the-belt as those judgments and comments can surely be, it is not our place to become triggered by them, to overreact to them, or to demonize those who deliver such statements, even if they most obviously deserve it.  It is also not our place to demand that they unscrew the top of their heads, remove their brains, and allow us to rewire them so they won't behave that way.  It's sometimes our problem that they act and think this way, but it's certainly not our fault.  Therefore, there is no reason for us to become offended, enraged, or outraged by this mentality - because it doesn't hurt us.

I could say the same about racism, sexism, or plain old bullying.  As long as there is something for you to be proud of, there will always be someone who opposes it.  It's simply there.

But the presence of a negative opinion in no way takes away anyone's right to Pride.  It doesn't invalidate you, or what you believe, or what you love.  It doesn't reduce you to dust.  And even if someone else's opinion of you is that unfavorable, it is only their perspective - which should never be yours.

So without rambling on too long, understand that not every single person in this world will accept that Pride.  But the vast, overwhelming majority of it does.  And that majority often includes the people who matter to us the most.  Be grateful for those who accept your Pride, and simply dismiss those who cannot, or will not.

And when I say dismiss, that's different from demonizing.  And it's also not the same as enabling them, or giving tacit approval.  It means remaining calm, unruffled, and not-triggered.  It also means erecting boundaries and removing those who are unable to respect them.  Leave the consequences to Our Mother Lady Karma, and keep your self-respect intact.

I EXIST.  I MATTER.  I BELONG.  I DESERVE

I AM BOLD.  I AM BULLETPROOF.

I AM EMOTIONALLY MATURE.

HAPPY PRIDE WEEK!

There Are Friends, And There Are Fraaaaaaands

Hey All - Spring has finally sprung!

One obstacle we Bold Betas have is that we often just have a core group of friends instead of hundreds of thousands of friends.  And despite how rude, aggressive, and abrasive our adversaries are, they seem to have throngs approving of everything they do.  An unexplained phenomenon to be sure.

However, we must not be caught in the trap where we resent those with all those fraaaaaaaands, and I'll tell you why:

(1).  Those guys are expert BS artists.  They know how to pander and say things people want to hear, and they know how to target people who don't question it.

(2).  Those fraaaaaaands aren't who you really want to associate with.  Look at them - you know I don't need to elaborate.

(3).  Anyone who truly loves and respects himself knows how to be alone and use it productively.  These posers and panderers don't.  If they didn't have that throng of admirers, they'd be destitute.

Yes, friendship is an operation far more dependent on quality than on quantity.  Being fraaaaaands with, or liked by, a million acquaintances, hangers-on, fanboys, and followers, is meaningless compared to having deep, close, personal relationships with just a few good peeps who've seen you at your best and your worst, don't pass judgment on you, and accept you for exactly who you are.  There's no need to sell out stadiums when you already have the VIP's in the front row.

Yeah, those other suckers will still flaunt what they perceive to be their reputation.  And others might flock to them as if they're oblivious.  When you see that, remember the above.  

NEVER think that you are less than them because of what they have.  Instead, accentuate what you have.

Still, NEVER resent them for what they have.  Odds are more likely than not that what they have is nowhere near as great as it looks.

Do Not Deify.  Do Not Demonize.  Do Not Waste Thoughts On Them.

I EXIST.  I MATTER.  I BELONG.  I DESERVE.

I AM BOLD.  I AM BULLETPROOF.  I AM BETA.

Our Leader?

Hey All -- Hope you're getting ready for Labor Day Weekend!

Next year's presidential election sure is getting a lot of attention.  Moreso than usual due to the celebrity status it's been granted.

By now, the message of this blog should be apparent.  But as it pertains to Donald Trump, a little clarification is needed.

(1)  Our country is getting closer and closer to another civil war.  We have a government that does not meet the needs of its people, and it's ripe for a change.
(2)  We have people who come this country, most of them for the most valid of reasons, but completely disregard the requirements to become citizens.  This issue can't be ignored, minimized, or swept under the rug because the result is to allow laws to have no meaning.
(3)  We have become weak in the eyes of our adversaries and many of our allies.  This needs to change.

On those issues, Trump is 100% right.  We really do need a stronger leader to "Make America Great Again."

HOWEVER, this blog condemns some of the things Mr. Trump does:
(1)  Megyn Kelly is known for asking tough questions.  Whether her choice to ask Trump about his behavior was right or wrong was a judgment call, but his choice to make the issue personal was unacceptable.  His statements on Twitter to or about Megyn Kelly were juvenile, immature, and unpresidential.  He could have simply explained that he is not concerned with political correctness and that he saw nothing wrong with his prior comments, and ended it.
(2)  Jorge Ramos needs to chill out and get off his high horse.  But using hired muscle to escort him out of the room merely because he's being rude and obnoxious was completely unnecessary, as was telling him to "go back to Univision."  He could have simply refused to engage him until he was ready to do so, or simply elected not to answer his questions.  Ejecting him only backfired on him, and enabled Ramos to go on "The Kelly File" and be treated like a welcomed guest out of knowing sympathy.

Yes, he is leading in the polls.  How could he not be?  It's fun to hear somebody say things we won't because we still believe in respect.  It's entertaining to see someone be a goofball - why do you think the jock/bully types get so much attention below the undergraduate level?  And it's actually fun to hear someone be irreverent when everyone else thinks they need to play it close to the vest.

However, none of that means he will be elected, or that he will be a good president if elected!

This blog will reciprocate the pledge Mr. Trump made to support the eventual Republican nominee, and we will support him if he is nominated.  That being said, we do not condone his bullying behavior, his disrespectful tone, and his undignified manner, no matter how funny it was on The Apprentice.  There is absolutely, positively, no reason to be a bully in order to be an effective leader, and anyone who thinks otherwise has insecurities that we can't remove.

I EXIST.  I MATTER.  I BELONG.  I DESERVE.

I AM BOLD.  I AM BULLETPROOF.  I AM ME.

All Of The People, All Of The Time

Hi All.

This week, Real Life has reinforced a hard lesson that's too easy to forget.  You can't please all of the people all of the time.

Recently, I posted about a select few individuals who I considered to be special, and how I felt about them.  It's not often that I do that, but the time seemed right.  Much to my dismay, someone who read the blog became offended by it, even while understanding that I intended no offense.  I tried to 'splain, but to no avail.

Lately, those close to me have suggested that I cut back on social media.  To a point, I have been, but I'm never going to drop it entirely.  I love it too much, to be quite honest.  It feels good to know that people do sometimes agree with, acknowledge, or simply "like" what I have to say.  It's not a need, per se, but it's definitely a nice little booster.

Oh noooo, I don't neeeeed validation from social media, I'm fine by myself.

Congratulations.  Please continue being so, and leave me be.

But facing criticism?  Rejection?  Perceived "offense?"  Arrogance-filled diatribes?  Insults?  Threats?  That's not as easy for everyone.  However,

(1).  You can't MAKE everybody like you or agree with you.  If they're not buying it, don't sell it to them.  Keep your target audience and sell it to them instead.  And if you have to keep defending yourself over and over again to certain people, don't even talk to them.

(2).  A minimum of criticism does not outweigh an overwhelming acceptance.  Those who support you should be given considerably more attention than those who don't.

(3).  If people force their opinions on you, stop listening to them.  What they say is not coming from a place of respect.

(4).  If you realize you might be wrong about something, apologize ONCE.  If you aren't forgiven right then and there, or more "atonement" is demanded, write them off.

(5).  Anyone who threatens you has already lost the argument.

Nope, not everyone will agree with everything you say.  But that should never intimidate anyone.  Why sell yourself short or compromise your values just because someone else feels like mouthing off, or decides to get "offended" by your opinions?  If you want to support a certain worldview because you know it's true for you, why should you let someone else bully you into dropping it?  That's stupid.

Don't make obviously racist, sexist, anti-religious or homophobic statements, that's common sense.  But anything else?  Fair game, as long as you think it through first.

Night all.  One of these days, I'll be back on my usual schedule.

And thanks to my friends, family, Close Platonics, Medium Platonics, running friends, blogging friends, LI friends, and peeps far and near for the support you've always shown me.

DISCLAIMER:  The above should not be considered an abandonment of my earlier posts warning you all to think about what you say before you say it.

ADDITIONAL FURTHER DISCLAIMER:  If you see someone post something on social media that may have been proven false, please don't be "that guy" and try to "prove them wrong" with a link to Snopes, and a reminder to everyone to research everything like you because you're perfect.  No matter how right you are, that's a slap in the face.  How about messaging that person privately, and sparing them the embarrassment?