Hey All - It's Christmukkah! A rare and welcome event when the first night of Chanukah is also Christmas Eve, and the rest of Chanukah runs right into New Year's. A great opportunity for caring and sharing.
In keeping with that opportunity, I've come to realize that I need to give more emphasis to the true theme of this blog. Those of you who follow me on Facebook and Twitter have noticed that I have used the hashtags "emotional maturity" and "respect" more often than "Bold Betas" and "alpholes." This has happened due to what I consider a natural evolution in my writing, and how things are developing in my life and the world around me.
When I started using the original hashtags, I was at a slightly different place in life than I am now. Since a lot of blessings have been heading my way, the need to have a "bad guy" to throw things at has somewhat lessened, and the need to focus on how to handle life's challenges with intelligence and not with reactions has increased.
There really are people who are high-conflict, unnecessarily aggressive, threatening, narcissistic, and sociopathic. They do exist. And there really are people who've been hurt, put down, done to, held back, and underdeveloped. They do exist too. However, as I face the end of this year, I've started to realize that the way to address these problems is by not necessarily demonizing or deifying anyone, but not demonstrating how Emotional Maturity and Respect would change both extremes.
That being said, I'm just not sure about retitling this blog, or doing away with the original hashtags. I think they still matter.
However, in the coming year, I would like to increase traffic, gain more exposure, expand into speaking engagements, and make a contribution to the world around me other than working and paying taxes. In order to do that effectively, I have to ask the advice of other people who can see these messages from an outsider's perspective.
So, my readers, I address the following queries to you:
(1) Should I, or should I not, retire the terms "Bold Betas" and "alpholes?"
(2) If so, should I, or should I not, retitle this blog?
(3) If so, do I, or do I not, risk losing the audience I seek?
Only serious responses requested, of course. And if you're on Facebook, and your comment is likely to exceed one paragraph, please direct-message me instead.
DISCLAIMER: While I'm not yet sure whether to make Emotional Maturity a title of this blog, I am very sure to let it govern how we address each other. If your statements to me reveal a lack of emotional maturity, they're getting deleted. Your subsequent accusations of cowardice will not negate my boundaries.
Happy Holidays, everybody!
This blog is meant for the advancement, redemption, and self actualization of those who have not been taught how to properly manage their emotions, and have suffered due to this lack of information. While we in no way defend those who have harmed us, we also do not make ourselves triggered and manipulated by people and things we cannot control. Through the application of the Eight Pillars, we can move forward and become the strong, unflappable, respectable people we were meant to be.
Showing posts with label alphaganda. Show all posts
Showing posts with label alphaganda. Show all posts
Monday, December 26, 2016
Tuesday, June 14, 2016
The Worst That Men Can Be
Hey All. Hope you're enjoying June.
Recently, we have witnessed two men exhibit the worst possible examples of the alphaganda. Let's review them.
(1) Brock Turner.
What this young man is convicted of doing is absolutely disgusting. Sexually violating an unconscious woman, hoping to use her lack of knowledge to argue that she consented, and having his father minimize the act itself? Unacceptable.
Once again, society is discussing rape in depth. Is it encouraged? Enabled? Are all men potential rapists? Are there rapists lurking around every corner in every bar and college campus?
There is a paragraph of the alphaganda that seems to suggest that what Brock Turner did is American as apple pie. That he was "the man." That in order to register as an all-American red-blooded male, you must, repeat must, hook up. You must have lost your virginity by the time you're 15. No, 12. No, younger.
That paragraph also suggests that once you get started on that route, you gotta keep going. Put up numbers like Wilt Chamberlain. Gene Simmons. Any pick-up artist. If you're not doing like them, you're nothing.
This is not necessarily rape culture, in and of itself. But it unmistakably causes it. The same way that bullying naturally leads to rape and other forms of brutality.
The answer to this is discipline. This comes naturally with maturity, but in order to prevent more of this from occurring, that discipline should begin much earlier in life. There needs to be an understanding that self-respect, respect for others, and basic ethics and morals matter more than having sex. And this would be best served if young people waited until their 20's to even consider it.
(2) Omar Mateen.
Some men think that might makes right. That would probably be the first chapter in the alphaganda.
It's one thing to belong to a religion that denounces homosexuality. Those of us who are Jewish or Christian already do, but most likely keep that opinion within the bounds of decency. Or sometimes we even decide that respect for those we love is more important than denouncing the act.
It's quite another thing to commit a mass murder of those that you perceive to be wrong. Something completely different to take a whole arsenal of weapons into a nightclub full of unarmed people and just . . . kill 'em all and let G-D sort them out.
As Bold Betas, we are able to discipline ourselves against making such errors in judgment. Unlike Brock Turner, we understand that (a) having sex at a young age is not the end-all and be-all that others think it is; (b) if a woman tells us no, she may or may not be doing us a favor; (c) other people's life choices cannot propel us to violence; and (d) no deity or demigod compels us to kill, and ourselves have no authority to save or damn any soul in this realm.
A small number of readers of this blog have objected to my use of the term "alphole" because they think that it unfairly paints all "manly men" with a broad brush, and that it lumps assertive males unfairly with pathological males. Ladies and gentlemen, you now have textbook illustrations of what that term was meant to describe.
Condolences to the victims of the Orlando shooting. Sympathy to the victim of Brock Turner's sexual assault. And respect towards those victimized by the Tel Aviv shooting.
I EXIST. I MATTER. I BELONG. I DESERVE.
I AM BOLD. I AM BULLETPROOF. I AM BETA.
Recently, we have witnessed two men exhibit the worst possible examples of the alphaganda. Let's review them.
(1) Brock Turner.
What this young man is convicted of doing is absolutely disgusting. Sexually violating an unconscious woman, hoping to use her lack of knowledge to argue that she consented, and having his father minimize the act itself? Unacceptable.
Once again, society is discussing rape in depth. Is it encouraged? Enabled? Are all men potential rapists? Are there rapists lurking around every corner in every bar and college campus?
There is a paragraph of the alphaganda that seems to suggest that what Brock Turner did is American as apple pie. That he was "the man." That in order to register as an all-American red-blooded male, you must, repeat must, hook up. You must have lost your virginity by the time you're 15. No, 12. No, younger.
That paragraph also suggests that once you get started on that route, you gotta keep going. Put up numbers like Wilt Chamberlain. Gene Simmons. Any pick-up artist. If you're not doing like them, you're nothing.
This is not necessarily rape culture, in and of itself. But it unmistakably causes it. The same way that bullying naturally leads to rape and other forms of brutality.
The answer to this is discipline. This comes naturally with maturity, but in order to prevent more of this from occurring, that discipline should begin much earlier in life. There needs to be an understanding that self-respect, respect for others, and basic ethics and morals matter more than having sex. And this would be best served if young people waited until their 20's to even consider it.
(2) Omar Mateen.
Some men think that might makes right. That would probably be the first chapter in the alphaganda.
It's one thing to belong to a religion that denounces homosexuality. Those of us who are Jewish or Christian already do, but most likely keep that opinion within the bounds of decency. Or sometimes we even decide that respect for those we love is more important than denouncing the act.
It's quite another thing to commit a mass murder of those that you perceive to be wrong. Something completely different to take a whole arsenal of weapons into a nightclub full of unarmed people and just . . . kill 'em all and let G-D sort them out.
As Bold Betas, we are able to discipline ourselves against making such errors in judgment. Unlike Brock Turner, we understand that (a) having sex at a young age is not the end-all and be-all that others think it is; (b) if a woman tells us no, she may or may not be doing us a favor; (c) other people's life choices cannot propel us to violence; and (d) no deity or demigod compels us to kill, and ourselves have no authority to save or damn any soul in this realm.
A small number of readers of this blog have objected to my use of the term "alphole" because they think that it unfairly paints all "manly men" with a broad brush, and that it lumps assertive males unfairly with pathological males. Ladies and gentlemen, you now have textbook illustrations of what that term was meant to describe.
Condolences to the victims of the Orlando shooting. Sympathy to the victim of Brock Turner's sexual assault. And respect towards those victimized by the Tel Aviv shooting.
I EXIST. I MATTER. I BELONG. I DESERVE.
I AM BOLD. I AM BULLETPROOF. I AM BETA.
Sunday, June 21, 2015
Respect
Hey All -- another weekend done, another week about to get under way!
One obstacle we sometimes face as beta males is lack of respect. We are often confronted by those who enjoy hearing the sound of their own voices, expect those around them to kowtow to their superiority, and seriously believe that pushing others around, with immunity and impunity, is their divine right. It's not only frustrating, it's dangerous - if you're not careful, all of the "just ignore them;" "it's the way they are;" and "don't take it personally;" rhetoric will serves to give these people a protective shield against any consequences.
There are always ways to deal with them -- here are some:
(1) Emotional Discipline: never lose your cool. People like this live to make other people upset. It's their point system, their merit badges, and their "likes." Do NOT, under any circumstances, give them an easy win. The Armor around your Heart should be at maximum srength, your frustration should be held in check, and your composure should be will within reach.
(2) Short Reaction Time: do not reflect on whatever bruises they left for more than five minutes. Anything beyond that stops being their doing, and starts becoming yours. Don't do their job for them.
(3) Preparation: Decide that next time they choose to reach in, you will handle them with respect, but firmness. Choose what you will allow, and what you won't.
(4) Boundaries: Explain to them that their actions are not acceptable, and if they choose to deal with you, they'll simply have to stop them.
(5) Consequences: This is where it can get tricky.
(A) Authority - do not engage in any action that contravenes the legitimate authority you have over you unless absolutely necessary. And it can only be absolutely necessary if you first notify that authority of what is happening.
(B) Response of Authority - if they act, and resolve the issue, don't aggravate it further. If they do not act, then and only then can you take action, because you now have a record of the problem.
(C) Position of Strength - if the next incident happens, remind them that the authorities know about them, that they are not the authorities, no matter how much they act like it, and that nothing they do will be tolerated.
(D) Attack Mode - remind them of their weaknesses. Their defeats. Their mistakes. Their shortcomings. Don't get distracted when they try to bring up yours, and don't let them intimidate you. At that point, they've run out of free passes.
(E) Preparation for Future Confrontations - now that you know how they are when it gets real, you'll be even better prepared for them next time. Unless they've actually shown enough cowardice to back down.
This list is, of course, not exclusive, and doesn't apply to any and all situations. However, it's a much more civilized and controlled method of responding to disrespect in most settings.
DISCLAIMER: This blog does not condone violence of any kind. Let someone else handle that. Of course, measures must be taken to defend yourself from imminent harm, but striking out in violence solves nothing. We are not savages or neandrathals. And yes, I'll say it once more, we are not ruled by the alphaganda, and we do not live in a comic book. Let the animals behave like animals. Don't be one.
One obstacle we sometimes face as beta males is lack of respect. We are often confronted by those who enjoy hearing the sound of their own voices, expect those around them to kowtow to their superiority, and seriously believe that pushing others around, with immunity and impunity, is their divine right. It's not only frustrating, it's dangerous - if you're not careful, all of the "just ignore them;" "it's the way they are;" and "don't take it personally;" rhetoric will serves to give these people a protective shield against any consequences.
There are always ways to deal with them -- here are some:
(1) Emotional Discipline: never lose your cool. People like this live to make other people upset. It's their point system, their merit badges, and their "likes." Do NOT, under any circumstances, give them an easy win. The Armor around your Heart should be at maximum srength, your frustration should be held in check, and your composure should be will within reach.
(2) Short Reaction Time: do not reflect on whatever bruises they left for more than five minutes. Anything beyond that stops being their doing, and starts becoming yours. Don't do their job for them.
(3) Preparation: Decide that next time they choose to reach in, you will handle them with respect, but firmness. Choose what you will allow, and what you won't.
(4) Boundaries: Explain to them that their actions are not acceptable, and if they choose to deal with you, they'll simply have to stop them.
(5) Consequences: This is where it can get tricky.
(A) Authority - do not engage in any action that contravenes the legitimate authority you have over you unless absolutely necessary. And it can only be absolutely necessary if you first notify that authority of what is happening.
(B) Response of Authority - if they act, and resolve the issue, don't aggravate it further. If they do not act, then and only then can you take action, because you now have a record of the problem.
(C) Position of Strength - if the next incident happens, remind them that the authorities know about them, that they are not the authorities, no matter how much they act like it, and that nothing they do will be tolerated.
(D) Attack Mode - remind them of their weaknesses. Their defeats. Their mistakes. Their shortcomings. Don't get distracted when they try to bring up yours, and don't let them intimidate you. At that point, they've run out of free passes.
(E) Preparation for Future Confrontations - now that you know how they are when it gets real, you'll be even better prepared for them next time. Unless they've actually shown enough cowardice to back down.
This list is, of course, not exclusive, and doesn't apply to any and all situations. However, it's a much more civilized and controlled method of responding to disrespect in most settings.
DISCLAIMER: This blog does not condone violence of any kind. Let someone else handle that. Of course, measures must be taken to defend yourself from imminent harm, but striking out in violence solves nothing. We are not savages or neandrathals. And yes, I'll say it once more, we are not ruled by the alphaganda, and we do not live in a comic book. Let the animals behave like animals. Don't be one.
Sunday, June 1, 2014
The Last Word on Elliott Rodger
Hi All, Welcome to June!
By now, most of my regular readers will have viewed my video about Elliott Rodger and the rampage he committed on May 23rd in Santa Barbara, California. I have one last thing to add.
My deductive reasoning tells me that there was one source of his anger that not everyone has touched upon yet. This anger he had towards the supposed horde of women that rejected him in favor of "real men" originated somewhere. And that origin simply must have been the alphaganda. This unsupported, invalid, and blatantly false assertion that if a male has not had sex with a woman by the time he is 16, no 14, no 12, then he is somehow a lesser man. Unfortunately, instead of realizing that the alphaganda had as much truth behind it as Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny, Elliott Rodger bought the alphaganda. Being deceived by this fraudulent way of thinking led him to believe that (a) the women who rejected him forced him into a lower level of the pecking order, and that (b) as a man, he needed to have sex with them in order to increase in rank.
Someone needed to explain to this young man how untrue this was. Someone needed to explain to him that being a virgin after high school age was not a badge of shame, a sign of weakness, evidence of unmanliness, or anything negative at all. Or better yet, they could have simply flipped on MTV, made him watch a few episodes of "Teen Mom," and asked him how he'd feel being one of the "teen daddies" on that show. I guarantee all of those boys thought they were men before they got the news - how manly or studly do the producers of that show make them look now? Don't get me wrong, I don't think of the teen moms as innocent little angels, but they are made to seem blameless in comparison to these "cool kids" who know nothing of responsibility.
If somebody could have set him straight, and if he himself could have learned that the alphaganda was false, chances are he would have lived a much more normal life, and not caused all of this senseless violence. Unfortunately, the alphaganda is sometimes more persuasive than any positive male role models that are available, and that's very unfortunate.
If there are any would-be Elliott Rodgers out there, I hope you're reading this. I hope you can think first, actually think several times first, and act later. I hope you have the critical thinking skills to see the flaws in the alphaganda. I hope you can realize who's an alphole and who's not. And I hope you can accept the fact that these girls or women, no matter how good, nice, handsome, or funny you are, may still reject you, and hating them for it will not change their minds.
And more than anything, I hope you can realize that the fact that the alpholes claim to have started having sex the day they finished going through puberty has nothing to do with you. If they are having sex (allegedly) and you're not, that's completely irrelevant. It is their choice of morals, or complete lack thereof, and it does not mean that you are automatically less than them because you didn't emulate them. Come to think of it, most families would be better served if more people elected not to have sex until at least their mid-20's. However, this can only be a choice. If we lived in a society that regulated morality with painful consequences, we would be no better than the Taliban,
So again, I say to all those Elliott Rodgers out there, never let the alphaganda get under your skin like it did with him. Learn that it is baseless, groundless, and fraudulent, and that you have no need to follow it. If you are the same age as this young man and are frustrated that you haven't "done the deed," look at your pay check stub and be thankful that there is no "CHSUPP" deduction. Be thankful that your last doctor's visit did not include any bad news regarding your health. Take a good look at your life and realize that you are exempt from the requirements of the alphaganda, and that you fall well outside its jurisdiction. Let those who choose to follow it make their own mistakes, while you choose your own path in life. Chances are, you may be ahead of the game and not even know it.
And even if someone turns you down now, at the very least you made a decent effort. Maybe tomorrow someone else will reward that effort, and that someone else will be worthy of you. Don't worry so much about you being worthy of someone else.
I EXIST. I MATTER. I BELONG. I DESERVE.
I AM BOLD. I AM BULLETPROOF. I AM BETA.
Night All!
By now, most of my regular readers will have viewed my video about Elliott Rodger and the rampage he committed on May 23rd in Santa Barbara, California. I have one last thing to add.
My deductive reasoning tells me that there was one source of his anger that not everyone has touched upon yet. This anger he had towards the supposed horde of women that rejected him in favor of "real men" originated somewhere. And that origin simply must have been the alphaganda. This unsupported, invalid, and blatantly false assertion that if a male has not had sex with a woman by the time he is 16, no 14, no 12, then he is somehow a lesser man. Unfortunately, instead of realizing that the alphaganda had as much truth behind it as Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny, Elliott Rodger bought the alphaganda. Being deceived by this fraudulent way of thinking led him to believe that (a) the women who rejected him forced him into a lower level of the pecking order, and that (b) as a man, he needed to have sex with them in order to increase in rank.
Someone needed to explain to this young man how untrue this was. Someone needed to explain to him that being a virgin after high school age was not a badge of shame, a sign of weakness, evidence of unmanliness, or anything negative at all. Or better yet, they could have simply flipped on MTV, made him watch a few episodes of "Teen Mom," and asked him how he'd feel being one of the "teen daddies" on that show. I guarantee all of those boys thought they were men before they got the news - how manly or studly do the producers of that show make them look now? Don't get me wrong, I don't think of the teen moms as innocent little angels, but they are made to seem blameless in comparison to these "cool kids" who know nothing of responsibility.
If somebody could have set him straight, and if he himself could have learned that the alphaganda was false, chances are he would have lived a much more normal life, and not caused all of this senseless violence. Unfortunately, the alphaganda is sometimes more persuasive than any positive male role models that are available, and that's very unfortunate.
If there are any would-be Elliott Rodgers out there, I hope you're reading this. I hope you can think first, actually think several times first, and act later. I hope you have the critical thinking skills to see the flaws in the alphaganda. I hope you can realize who's an alphole and who's not. And I hope you can accept the fact that these girls or women, no matter how good, nice, handsome, or funny you are, may still reject you, and hating them for it will not change their minds.
And more than anything, I hope you can realize that the fact that the alpholes claim to have started having sex the day they finished going through puberty has nothing to do with you. If they are having sex (allegedly) and you're not, that's completely irrelevant. It is their choice of morals, or complete lack thereof, and it does not mean that you are automatically less than them because you didn't emulate them. Come to think of it, most families would be better served if more people elected not to have sex until at least their mid-20's. However, this can only be a choice. If we lived in a society that regulated morality with painful consequences, we would be no better than the Taliban,
So again, I say to all those Elliott Rodgers out there, never let the alphaganda get under your skin like it did with him. Learn that it is baseless, groundless, and fraudulent, and that you have no need to follow it. If you are the same age as this young man and are frustrated that you haven't "done the deed," look at your pay check stub and be thankful that there is no "CHSUPP" deduction. Be thankful that your last doctor's visit did not include any bad news regarding your health. Take a good look at your life and realize that you are exempt from the requirements of the alphaganda, and that you fall well outside its jurisdiction. Let those who choose to follow it make their own mistakes, while you choose your own path in life. Chances are, you may be ahead of the game and not even know it.
And even if someone turns you down now, at the very least you made a decent effort. Maybe tomorrow someone else will reward that effort, and that someone else will be worthy of you. Don't worry so much about you being worthy of someone else.
I EXIST. I MATTER. I BELONG. I DESERVE.
I AM BOLD. I AM BULLETPROOF. I AM BETA.
Night All!
Sunday, November 24, 2013
Watch The Ego - Theirs And Yours!
Hello Peeps! It's about that time again.
In this week's Bible portion, our heroes keep messing up again.
Joseph was, you guessed it, a favorite son. The son that Israel/Jacob conceived with Rachel, his intended bride, blessed by Israel over the other 11, rockin' the multicolored toga. So what does he do with his most-favored status?
He flaunts it, probably unintentionally, in his family's face. He dreams about his brothers' sheaves bowing down to his, and then about the sun, moon, and 11 stars bowing before him . . . and then foolishly tells everyone! So bad that his brothers dump him in a pit and lie to Israel, telling him that he was killed by a wild animal. Say it ain't so, Joe.
So then he gets sold to a high-ranking Egyptian, and his wife decides to "flirt with the pool boy." Of course, when it becomes his word against hers, her word counts, and he gets thrown in jail.
So, as luck would have it, his cell mates turn out to be Pharaoh's wine distiller and baker, both of whom have their own dreams. So Joseph, having a knack for all this, interprets them to mean that the distiller will be restored to his former station, but that the baker will be executed. And wouldn't you know, Captain Paumanok really does get his job back, while Poppin' Fresh gets popped.
(most people gloss over the innuendo in Judah's house in Chapter 38. I don't blame them)
What makes people, such as Joseph, better than anyone else? Could be a lot of things. When people start talking about how super cool and snazzy jazzy they are, it's very easy to interpret this positive statement as something negative. What, your (sweat) doesn't stink? Think you're so much better than us? What a narcissist!
Did he really mean it? Maybe, maybe not. Those two dreams made it pretty obvious that he expected his 11 brothers to acknowledge him as superior. We don't know about the other brothers talking down to him before all these dreams happened, so maybe he wasn't trying to prove himself to them. Maybe he naively thought that since his father treated him like he was special, that he wasn't causing trouble by acting special. Maybe his father, who was also far from perfect, could have 'splained him that acting like you're better than the rest of your brothers wouldn't endear him to them.
Lately, I've been tweeting about the alphaganda. This story ties in with that concept. Trash-talking about your wonderful strengths and everyone else's weaknesses, telling other people that they are less than you, and expecting everyone to become your sychophant, follower, and hanger-on, even with no ill intent, is a gross miscalculation. Yes, we do see people who become famous with this attitude, and yes, there are tons of yes-men and boot-lickers to keep reinforcing this misperception. But apparently the lesson Joseph needed to desperately learn was that flagrantly announcing your perceived superiority to everyone else, and expecting them all to acknowledge it, does not engender respect, or love, or anything close.
Even if the sports statistics, profit/loss margin, and percentage of gorgeous young honeys available prove that you really are superior in some way, that doesn't mean that rubbing it in someone else's face makes it even better. If you really are that super-awesome, then your accomplishments should speak for themselves, and the adoring public should be able to perceive them standing alone. Unless you are employed by Vince McMahon to spew these types of statements into a microphone before your match starts, you never tell someone that you're the top and that they're less than you.
And for those on the other side of the fence who feel miffed by this display of cockiness, you've got your own work to do. Just because someone else may or may not be better at something than you are, why let that crap get under your skin? Chances are, you didn't even care about whatever he was better at until you heard him thumping his chest about it. And if he really is better than you at it, why not just let him have his stupid little prize? Why should you feel inadequate or jealous just because he's running his mouth? Yeah, it may sound like annoying mom-and-dad stuff to hear, but chances are you have strengths that homeboy doesn't even come close to matching! Screw what that blowhard, loud mouth, BS artist is saying. He's got no clue!
And if he does it too many times, then maybe . . . maybe maybe maybe, just maybe . . . it's OK to call him out on it. What's the worst he could do, talk about himself even more? The other 11 dudes got so fed up with Joseph that they dumped him in a hole. You don't need to go to that extreme, but if he crosses the last boundary, there's nothing wrong with having the fortitude to say, "Enough already!" Just because he speaks the loudest and sounds the most annoying, that doesn't mean he gets to make the rules. He doesn't decide what's cool and what's not -- it's your life, so you do!!!!
Ummmm, Dave? I think you just combined the Bible post with your regular inspirational message. If you're not careful, they'll think this is only a religious-based blog.
Thanks for the heads up -- but on the bright side, I got the message out with one post instead of two! Ain't that a pip!
That's what I have, Thanksgiving is coming up. That is to say, Thanksgiving, and not Five Weeks Till Xmas So Start Buying Crap!
Enjoy . . . .
In this week's Bible portion, our heroes keep messing up again.
Joseph was, you guessed it, a favorite son. The son that Israel/Jacob conceived with Rachel, his intended bride, blessed by Israel over the other 11, rockin' the multicolored toga. So what does he do with his most-favored status?
He flaunts it, probably unintentionally, in his family's face. He dreams about his brothers' sheaves bowing down to his, and then about the sun, moon, and 11 stars bowing before him . . . and then foolishly tells everyone! So bad that his brothers dump him in a pit and lie to Israel, telling him that he was killed by a wild animal. Say it ain't so, Joe.
So then he gets sold to a high-ranking Egyptian, and his wife decides to "flirt with the pool boy." Of course, when it becomes his word against hers, her word counts, and he gets thrown in jail.
So, as luck would have it, his cell mates turn out to be Pharaoh's wine distiller and baker, both of whom have their own dreams. So Joseph, having a knack for all this, interprets them to mean that the distiller will be restored to his former station, but that the baker will be executed. And wouldn't you know, Captain Paumanok really does get his job back, while Poppin' Fresh gets popped.
(most people gloss over the innuendo in Judah's house in Chapter 38. I don't blame them)
What makes people, such as Joseph, better than anyone else? Could be a lot of things. When people start talking about how super cool and snazzy jazzy they are, it's very easy to interpret this positive statement as something negative. What, your (sweat) doesn't stink? Think you're so much better than us? What a narcissist!
Did he really mean it? Maybe, maybe not. Those two dreams made it pretty obvious that he expected his 11 brothers to acknowledge him as superior. We don't know about the other brothers talking down to him before all these dreams happened, so maybe he wasn't trying to prove himself to them. Maybe he naively thought that since his father treated him like he was special, that he wasn't causing trouble by acting special. Maybe his father, who was also far from perfect, could have 'splained him that acting like you're better than the rest of your brothers wouldn't endear him to them.
Lately, I've been tweeting about the alphaganda. This story ties in with that concept. Trash-talking about your wonderful strengths and everyone else's weaknesses, telling other people that they are less than you, and expecting everyone to become your sychophant, follower, and hanger-on, even with no ill intent, is a gross miscalculation. Yes, we do see people who become famous with this attitude, and yes, there are tons of yes-men and boot-lickers to keep reinforcing this misperception. But apparently the lesson Joseph needed to desperately learn was that flagrantly announcing your perceived superiority to everyone else, and expecting them all to acknowledge it, does not engender respect, or love, or anything close.
Even if the sports statistics, profit/loss margin, and percentage of gorgeous young honeys available prove that you really are superior in some way, that doesn't mean that rubbing it in someone else's face makes it even better. If you really are that super-awesome, then your accomplishments should speak for themselves, and the adoring public should be able to perceive them standing alone. Unless you are employed by Vince McMahon to spew these types of statements into a microphone before your match starts, you never tell someone that you're the top and that they're less than you.
And for those on the other side of the fence who feel miffed by this display of cockiness, you've got your own work to do. Just because someone else may or may not be better at something than you are, why let that crap get under your skin? Chances are, you didn't even care about whatever he was better at until you heard him thumping his chest about it. And if he really is better than you at it, why not just let him have his stupid little prize? Why should you feel inadequate or jealous just because he's running his mouth? Yeah, it may sound like annoying mom-and-dad stuff to hear, but chances are you have strengths that homeboy doesn't even come close to matching! Screw what that blowhard, loud mouth, BS artist is saying. He's got no clue!
And if he does it too many times, then maybe . . . maybe maybe maybe, just maybe . . . it's OK to call him out on it. What's the worst he could do, talk about himself even more? The other 11 dudes got so fed up with Joseph that they dumped him in a hole. You don't need to go to that extreme, but if he crosses the last boundary, there's nothing wrong with having the fortitude to say, "Enough already!" Just because he speaks the loudest and sounds the most annoying, that doesn't mean he gets to make the rules. He doesn't decide what's cool and what's not -- it's your life, so you do!!!!
Ummmm, Dave? I think you just combined the Bible post with your regular inspirational message. If you're not careful, they'll think this is only a religious-based blog.
Thanks for the heads up -- but on the bright side, I got the message out with one post instead of two! Ain't that a pip!
That's what I have, Thanksgiving is coming up. That is to say, Thanksgiving, and not Five Weeks Till Xmas So Start Buying Crap!
Enjoy . . . .
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