Watch The Ego - Theirs And Yours!

Hello Peeps!  It's about that time again.

In this week's Bible portion, our heroes keep messing up again.

Joseph was, you guessed it, a favorite son.  The son that Israel/Jacob conceived with Rachel, his intended bride, blessed by Israel over the other 11, rockin' the multicolored toga.  So what does he do with his most-favored status?

He flaunts it, probably unintentionally, in his family's face.  He dreams about his brothers' sheaves bowing down to his, and then about the sun, moon, and 11 stars bowing before him . . . and then foolishly tells everyone!  So bad that his brothers dump him in a pit and lie to Israel, telling him that he was killed by a wild animal.  Say it ain't so, Joe.

So then he gets sold to a high-ranking Egyptian, and his wife decides to "flirt with the pool boy."  Of course, when it becomes his word against hers, her word counts, and he gets thrown in jail.

So, as luck would have it, his cell mates turn out to be Pharaoh's wine distiller and baker, both of whom have their own dreams.  So Joseph, having a knack for all this, interprets them to mean that the distiller will be restored to his former station, but that the baker will be executed.  And wouldn't you know, Captain Paumanok really does get his job back, while Poppin' Fresh gets popped.

(most people gloss over the innuendo in Judah's house in Chapter 38.  I don't blame them)

What makes people, such as Joseph, better than anyone else?  Could be a lot of things.  When people start talking about how super cool and snazzy jazzy they are, it's very easy to interpret this positive statement as something negative.  What, your (sweat) doesn't stink?  Think you're so much better than us?  What a narcissist!

Did he really mean it?  Maybe, maybe not.  Those two dreams made it pretty obvious that he expected his 11 brothers to acknowledge him as superior.  We don't know about the other brothers talking down to him before all these dreams happened, so maybe he wasn't trying to prove himself to them.  Maybe he naively thought that since his father treated him like he was special, that he wasn't causing trouble by acting special.  Maybe his father, who was also far from perfect, could have 'splained him that acting like you're better than the rest of your brothers wouldn't endear him to them.

Lately, I've been tweeting about the alphaganda.  This story ties in with that concept.  Trash-talking about your wonderful strengths and everyone else's weaknesses, telling other people that they are less than you, and expecting everyone to become your sychophant, follower, and hanger-on, even with no ill intent, is a gross miscalculation.  Yes, we do see people who become famous with this attitude, and yes, there are tons of yes-men and boot-lickers to keep reinforcing this misperception.  But apparently the lesson Joseph needed to desperately learn was that flagrantly announcing your perceived superiority to everyone else, and expecting them all to acknowledge it, does not engender respect, or love, or anything close.

Even if the sports statistics, profit/loss margin, and percentage of gorgeous young honeys available prove that you really are superior in some way, that doesn't mean that rubbing it in someone else's face makes it even better.  If you really are that super-awesome, then your accomplishments should speak for themselves, and the adoring public should be able to perceive them standing alone.  Unless you are employed by Vince McMahon to spew these types of statements into a microphone before your match starts, you never tell someone that you're the top and that they're less than you.

And for those on the other side of the fence who feel miffed by this display of cockiness, you've got your own work to do.  Just because someone else may or may not be better at something than you are, why let that crap get under your skin?  Chances are, you didn't even care about whatever he was better at until you heard him thumping his chest about it.  And if he really is better than you at it, why not just let him have his stupid little prize?  Why should you feel inadequate or jealous just because he's running his mouth?  Yeah, it may sound like annoying mom-and-dad stuff to hear, but chances are you have strengths that homeboy doesn't even come close to matching!  Screw what that blowhard, loud mouth, BS artist is saying.  He's got no clue!

And if he does it too many times, then maybe  . . . maybe maybe maybe, just maybe . . . it's OK to call him out on it.  What's the worst he could do, talk about himself even more?  The other 11 dudes got so fed up with Joseph that they dumped him in a hole.  You don't need to go to that extreme, but if he crosses the last boundary, there's nothing wrong with having the fortitude to say, "Enough already!"  Just because he speaks the loudest and sounds the most annoying, that doesn't mean he gets to make the rules.  He doesn't decide what's cool and what's not -- it's your life, so you do!!!!

Ummmm, Dave?  I think you just combined the Bible post with your regular inspirational message.  If you're not careful, they'll think this is only a religious-based blog.

Thanks for the heads up -- but on the bright side, I got the message out with one post instead of two!  Ain't that a pip!

That's what I have, Thanksgiving is coming up.  That is to say, Thanksgiving, and not Five Weeks Till Xmas So Start Buying Crap!

Enjoy . . . .

Stoppping the Trend

Hey All, about that time again!

In this week's Bible portion, Jacob actually wrestles an angel, and suffers only a hip injury, but reconciles with his long-lost brother, and then stops making deals with overly-shrewd foreign tribes.

Yup, that's right.  He actually wrestles with an angel, and his name is formally changed from Jacob to Israel, in recognition of the fact that he can throw it down with both human and divine beings and live to tell the tale.  Not bad for the younger brother who stole what belonged to his older brother.  

But even more striking than an encounter with someone even more feared than an MMA fighter, was his encounter with an old nemesis.  He all but apologized to Esau, and presented him with a huge amount of livestock to gain his favor.  Esau was more than willing to turn it down, and let bygones be bygones, but Israel insisted that he accept the gift, which he did.

But then when Israel is setting up camp in Schechem, a Canaanite town, the son of a king rapes his daughter.  He and his father BS about it, claiming that he wants to marry her.  Knowing full well what happened, Israel and his 12 sons explain that the Schechemites would all need to be circumcised in order for the wedding to happen.  So after they do, they slaughter them all and rescue their sister.  Israel was not happy with this, thinking he's now got a bad reputation, but his sons tell him that they did it for their sister's honor.

Looks like a major shift, huh?  The trend is now broken!  Now that Jacob came face to face with a divine being, he's changed his tune.  Instead of continuing the deception of the past, he successfully reconciled with his duped brother.  And his sons?  They not only supported each other, but they came in like heroes to rescue their sister and to execute justice against those who raped her and refused to take responsibility for it.  This is the first time in Genesis we see an example of chivalry!  And yeah, they did BS the Schechemites so they wouldn't expect consequences, but if that wasn't justified, I don't know what is!  Although I didn't touch upon it so much in the prior summaries, Abraham and Jacob had prior dealings with shady characters of foreign nations.  But this time the 12 sons of Israel showed them that the dealing was done!

My take is as follows:  Just because someone who came before you "always did it this way," that doesn't mean you're stuck with doing likewise.  If it's not working, and there's a way to do it differently, by all means do it!  Instead of deceiving people and keeping your ill-gotten gains, reconcile with them and offer to make restitution.  Instead of treating women like possessions to bargain over, stand up for them and punish those who dishonor them!

"The system" is not always right just because it's "the system."  Granted, you may not be in the best position to make changes yourself, but you can at least make your case for why it can and should change.  Don't just march in lockstep if it's not right to do so.  Where would we all be if Israel & Sons hadn't made this shift, and started to demonstrate a little bit of decency?  Finally some responsibility and some honor -- borrow some for yourselves, k?

I EXIST.  I MATTER.  I BELONG.  I DESERVE.

Who Matters More?

Hi All:

Time for the weekly biblical analysis.

Remember that annoying nephew Abraham had?  Well, he stayed behind in the infamous Twin Cities.  And Abraham was told by a few messengers from On High that not only will his wife give birth to a son at a ripe old age, but those Twin Cities are gonna get flattened.

So Abraham bargains a bit to look out for his boy Lot.  Almost reminding G-D of His promise to Noah not to annihilate an entire population when not everyone deserves it, he persuades G-D not to drop the sulphur on them if there are just 10 decent people in both cities.  Apparently the quota wasn't met, notwithstanding these negotiations.

So the messengers from On High walk right into Sodom to warn Lot that it's all gonna go down, and the local gangsters and miscreants pick up on it.  Lot, in a sorry show of cowardice, offers to let them all have their way with his daughters, so they'd leave him alone, to no avail.  Those messengers, in a display not unlike Qui-Gon Jinn and young Obi-Wan in Episode I, blind the crowd so they can't bust down Lot's door.

Just in time, Lot and his family escapes from Sodom before it's destroyed, although at least one member of his household just can't help but look back at the Strip one last time, only to be vaporized.  And then, feeling that they won't be able to find suitable mates, Lot's daughters get their father drunk so he'll perform a most unnatural act.  More on that below.

And what of Abraham?  Sarah tells him to boot Hagar and Ishmael out of the family for good.  This time, instead of blindly following her orders, he's actually feeling wrong about doing it.  But then G-D actually tells him to do what Sarah says, because Ishmael is not only going to survive, but be the father of his own "great nation," while Isaac gets the covenant.  So is a consolation prize meant to be enough?

And what does he do with the son he kept?  He almost kills him for G-D.  Volumes have already been written about that whole sorry affair.

What this selection shows is a major-league demonstration of misguided loyalty.  Prime examples of how not to respond to desperate times, even if the choices really are that difficult.

Abraham knew that his nephew, whom he already saved once, was going to be in worse trouble than before.  At that time, he had no problem bargaining with G-D to consider even the possibility of sparing the innocent.  He didn't know whether there were 10 people in Sodom and Gomorrah who were worthy enough to justify the cities' survival, but at that time, he wasn't afraid to ask G-D to reconsider a severe decree.  But that same urgency was gone for both of his sons.  His first son was getting evicted, and forced to fend for himself, with assurances from On High, that he'd be just fine, and not to worry about him.  He was already showing some strength of character by not merely accepting these circumstances without question, but showing real concern, as this was his son.  But where was his bargaining power then?  Why did he not ask G-D to just put Hagar and Ishmael in the Guest House?  Or maybe check out a new apartment for them?  Just to make sure he'd be OK by making the provisions -- how could he plead for Lot and not for his son?

Same issue with Isaac, but better known.  Where was his power of persuasion then?  He pleaded for Lot to be kept safe, but he didn't object when directed to slaughter his son on the altar.

And Lot's not that much better.  He was willing to let those low-lifes have their way with his daughters to prevent a worse rumble, and then later he allows his daughters to get him drunk and have him impregnate them?  True, the Ten Commandments had not yet come down at the time, so maybe it was technically okay to do that, but why did they have to get him drunk to make it happen?  And why couldn't he be a good enough father to say no?  It could be that his daughters had some corruption issues of their own, having grown up in Sodom, but this might have been his chance to set them straight now that they were out of that city.

It seems to me that we're taught to recognize lessons from these errors in judgment.  Unlike Abraham and Lot, we can use the right tactics for the right situation.  Abraham could have still stood up for Lot, there was nothing wrong with that choice, but he could have also stood up for both of his sons, and pleaded against the eviction and the sacrifice.  As gracious as it was of him to be a good uncle, he also needed to be a good father, because his powers of persuasion were needed by his sons even more than they were needed by his extended family.

Sometimes you have to think about it.  Consider the consequences and risks, and weigh which choice brings the greater benefit.  Don't waste your all of your smarts and arguments on issues that will effect you less, and don't "pass" or give up on issues that affect you more.  Just because some higher authority, divine or otherwise, demands that you do something that feels wrong, that doesn't mean you can't speak up and at least explain why you feel it might be wrong.  Choose your battles wisely.  Someone may thank you for it one day.

I EXIST.  I MATTER.  I BELONG.  I DESERVE.

Two Men, A Breed Apart

Ok, I know, I'm behind on the postings.  Lemme get up to date with a double portion.

NOAH.

Riiiiiight!  Not part of the post, just a shout out to all the Cosby fans.

The eggheads like to say, Noah was the only righteous man of his time, but he might not have been for our time.  So?  Who can tell what's "righteous" in our time anyway?  And why should it matter?  It's clear that he was a heck of a lot MORE righteous than the rest of those boneheads.  Why second guess his possible failings when everyone else around him was an @$$#ole?

But how do YOU know what an @$$#ole was?  How can YOU judge?  

Leave.  Just leave.  Thank you.

Whether he was a saint or not, he got the word that bad was coming his way, and he received, via Divine Download, detailed instructions to protect himself from it.  Even if he did show some skepticism, as the Cos implied, he'd be better off than the rest of those foolios!  He understood that while the rest of the world was content to keep screwing around, refusing to believe that consequences would result, he WAS aware that the consequences WOULD result, and began making preparations for them.  That means he was aware of the world around him, that he knew he could make a difference, and that nothing that the @$$#oles said to him would shake his resolve.  

Question whether he was "righteous?"  Sell it somewhere else!

And another thing.  After he survived in the ark with his family and all of those animals (one can only imagine the smell), G-D agreed never to curse the earth or wipe out humanity again.  Thing is, He never said He'd prevent humanity from doing that job itself.  Not to point out the obvious, but that's been happening for quite some time.

Think they all don't get it?  Build your own ark.  Protect yourself.  Be proud of what you know and how you use it.  And not to be corny, but he finished building that thing before it started raining - try not to last-minute it. 

ABRAHAM

A mover and a shaker for real!  THIS is a model of a man's life to emulate right here!  

Takes everything he knows and owns to settle in a foreign land that gets struck with a famine.  And then goes to Egypt, tells everyone his wife is really his sister so they don't kill him, makes deal after deal to become wealthy, and still manages to get out of Dodge with his wife and his honor.  This almost results in a feud with his nephew, who came along for the ride, but he just suggests that they divide and conquer to prevent a family dust up.

Just to show no hard feelings, he rescues the aforesaid boneheaded nephew from captivity when war breaks out between feudal warlords.  But still worried about his destiny, having no children, G-D reveals to him twice, once referring to the dust of the earth, and once referring to the stars in heaven, that his descendants will number in the millions, so he shouldn't be afraid.  And they'd all inherit the land once known as Canaan, per His covenant.

So few of us start on lifelong quests to be someone extraordinary.  We get stifled, we get swamped, we get silenced, and we get stuck.  We are taught a set of "nice" behaviors that make us more pleasant to be around, but also make us vulnerable.  This man, on the other hand, was a trail blazer.  He wasn't afraid to BS a pharaoh if it meant saving his life & reclaiming his wife.  He wasn't afraid to tell his relative that he needed to take his argumentative ways to Sodom, Gomorrah, Vegas, or anywhere else because he'd ruin the quest otherwise.  And he was still compassionate enough to bust him out when he was in real trouble.  He was sharp, he was brave, and he was selfless, gentlemen.  Now that's class.

Aaaaaand then there's the rest of the story.

Still no kids with his wife?  Sarah tells him to take a concubine, Hagar, get her pregnant, and we'll just adopt her baby.  So chaos began.  Hagar copped an attitude with Sarah, Abraham let Sarah get nasty with her, and G-D promised Hagar that she'll bear a son whose descendants will get nastier with later Hebrew generations.  

In spite of this mess, G-D declares Abraham and Sarah the parents of a great nation, tells them they will have a son, and that his covenant will be through this baby, and NOT with the concubine's baby.

Now what's going on here?  Sarah told Abraham to just get a concubine pregnant, which was apparently a bad idea.  And it turns out she actually was able to conceive after all - who knew?  For all of his strengths, not unlike Adam, he allowed his wife to dictate major life-altering decisions to him without questioning what consequences might arise.  G-D just got finished telling him his line would be as numerous as the stars.  Couldn't he have hipped Sarah to that revelation?  Couldn't they have just waited a little longer?  Did they really need more drama that badly?  We'll never know.  Suffice it to say, he had no grounds to question G-D, but he had ample grounds to question Sarah, and failed to do so.  It's a shame he had a brain fart on that one.

Still, even though the baby he would have with Sarah would get the covenant, the baby he had with Hagar didn't stop being his son.  That covenant stated that Abraham and his male descendants, as well as those who are hired help in the household, will be circumcised.  So Abraham and Ishmael had that taken care of the same day when Ishmael was 13 years old.  Not exactly a father-son fishing trip, but it still illustrates that he passed on some understanding of the family lineage despite the unfortunate circumstances of his conception.  

So, Friends and Neighbors, we have two men who stood apart.  One, because he thought differently, and more resourcefully, than others, and was able to save mankind as a result.  Another, because he was not afraid of challenges ahead, accepted his role as the patriarch of at least one great nation, and still made the most of a flawed decision.

Who would you rather be?  I'd like a little of both, to be honest.  Part Noah, because he was a step ahead of the competition, and part Abraham, because he started something big from the beginning.  It's just a lot more difficult being Noah because it feels lonely when you're right and everyone else is wrong.  And it's even more difficult to be Abraham and be stuck with consequences despite the best of intentions.

But gentlemen, nobody's perfect.  Learn from their strong points, avoid the mistakes they made, and a much better life awaits you.

I EXIST.  I MATTER.  I BELONG.  I DESERVE.