Total Pageviews

Saturday, April 23, 2016

Pause If You Must, But Never Wallow

Hey All - Happy Passover to those that celebrate.

It is impossible to advance in life without meeting obstacles and setbacks.  However, it's way too easy that this means "game over" instead of "handle it."

We Betas, being as sensitive as we are, often need time to reflect when confronted with such difficulty. Maybe we have to deal with anger, sadness, worry, anxiety, or a big stack of fear.  And sometimes a time out is needed to process that.

However, it's a very limited time out.  You can't do it forever.  You'll risk paralyzing yourself with doubt, guilt, or other stumbling blocks.  You'll be immobilized with hatred and contempt, and they'll chain you in a self-made prison.  You'll be stuck living in the past.

How to avoid this?

(1).  Schedule a Time.  Maybe when you first wake up, maybe when you first lie down.  Maybe a minute, maybe an hour, but keep it far away from anything else you need to do.  We don't need this getting in the way.
(2).  Use It Wisely.  Don't just ruminate, obsess, or wallow.  Ask WHY it's bad.  WHY it bothers you.  WHY it's wrong.  And follow them up with some good BECAUSES.
(3).  Contain It.  Resolve not to let these thoughts dominate you.  You still have a life to lead, and you don't owe it to anyone that wants you to feel bad.

But look what yoooooooou did!   But look what yooooooou didn't do!  But you were wrooooong!  But you screwed uuuuuuup!  I'm just sayinnnnnnn'!

Hear that?  If that voice is coming from a real live person, you can be Bulletproof and block it without letting them get under your skin.  That's not always easy to do.  But if it's coming from inside your head, then it's very easy to shut it down, by comparison.  You can mute, censor, reject, and silence that drivel anytime you choose.  You just haven't yet because it's become a habit.  But if you choose to inoculate yourself from these parasitic thoughts, you absolutely can.  Contain them, shred them, reject them, and dispose of them.

You don't own other people's behavior, actions, choices, or thoughts.  But you have exclusive domain over all of the above for yourself.  Handle them like it matters!  Don't let these things beat you.  Wrap them up in a bow and Fedex them outta here!



Sunday, April 17, 2016

There Are Friends, And There Are Fraaaaaaands

Hey All - Spring has finally sprung!

One obstacle we Bold Betas have is that we often just have a core group of friends instead of hundreds of thousands of friends.  And despite how rude, aggressive, and abrasive our adversaries are, they seem to have throngs approving of everything they do.  An unexplained phenomenon to be sure.

However, we must not be caught in the trap where we resent those with all those fraaaaaaaands, and I'll tell you why:
(1).  Those guys are expert BS artists.  They know how to pander and say things people want to hear, and they know how to target people who don't question it.
(2).  Those fraaaaaaands aren't who you really want to associate with.  Look at them - you know I don't need to elaborate.
(3).  Anyone who truly loves and respects himself knows how to be alone and use it productively.  These posers and panderers don't.  If they didn't have that throng of admirers, they'd be destitute.

Yes, friendship is an operation far more dependent on quality than on quantity.  Being fraaaaaands with, or liked by, a million acquaintances, hangers-on, fanboys, and followers, is meaningless compared to having deep, close, personal relationships with just a few good peeps who've seen you at your best and your worst, don't pass judgment on you, and accept you for exactly who you are.  There's no need to sell out stadiums when you already have the VIP's in the front row.

Yeah, those other suckers will still flaunt what they perceive to be their reputation.  And others might flock to them as if they're oblivious.  When you see that, remember the above.  

NEVER think that you are less than them because of what they have.  Instead, accentuate what you have.
Still, NEVER resent them for what they have.  Odds are more likely than not that what they have is nowhere near as great as it looks.

Do Not Deify.  Do Not Demonize.  Do Not Waste Thoughts On Them.