A Post For The End Of The Year!
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This blog is meant for the advancement, redemption, and self actualization of those who have not been taught how to properly manage their emotions, and have suffered due to this lack of information. While we in no way defend those who have harmed us, we also do not make ourselves triggered and manipulated by people and things we cannot control. Through the application of the Eight Pillars, we can move forward and become the strong, unflappable, respectable people we were meant to be.
Sunday, November 27, 2011
Last Mile Of The Year!
Bloggin' time, bloggin' time, across the U.S.A., bloggin' time, bloggin' time, yeah yeah yay!
Yes, people, it's Sunday night, and you know what that means! There already was a post about Black Friday, which some of you all enjoyed, but that's not knocking me off track!
Our friends who braved late-night mob scenes and come home with their hard-won bounty, without spending too much booty, may be ready for the holiday season. But are we as ready as they are?
I don't mean, have you bought all your presents yet. I already said that can be done next week, if you're so inclined. When I say ready, I don't mean whether you've gained all you need to gain. I mean, have you gotten rid of everything you need to get rid of?
Have you gotten rid of the clothes that are too small to fit you? Or, if you're a runner like me, have you gotten rid of the clothes that are too large to fit you? Either donate them or chuck them.
Did you make good on all those New Years' Resolutions you made in January? Or at least two of them? Cross them off your list!
Was there a conflict with someone? Is it no longer happening? Are you still replaying it in your head, like you're in the team's projection room? Time to dump it and make room for next year's episodes!
Are there friends on Facebook who ignore you? Are there other people who IM or e-mail you when you don't have the time or the inclination to chat? That's why some genius invented the Unfriend button, and some other genius invented the Block button -- toss 'em!
We're heading towards the finish line of 2011, people. Like I said in an earlier entry, we don't need anyone or anything riding piggy back on our shoulders, weighing us down and planting negative and self-hating thoughts in our heads if we're running a race. Lose the unnecessary baggage! Throw it in the garbage! You'll hit that finish line so fast you won't know you had it in you!!! You don't need any of that crapola in 2012, so why hold onto it?
So here comes December, the last leg of this race -- make it a good one . . . and have a happy holiday season, no matter how you celebrate it!
Don't forget to comment!
Yes, people, it's Sunday night, and you know what that means! There already was a post about Black Friday, which some of you all enjoyed, but that's not knocking me off track!
Our friends who braved late-night mob scenes and come home with their hard-won bounty, without spending too much booty, may be ready for the holiday season. But are we as ready as they are?
I don't mean, have you bought all your presents yet. I already said that can be done next week, if you're so inclined. When I say ready, I don't mean whether you've gained all you need to gain. I mean, have you gotten rid of everything you need to get rid of?
Have you gotten rid of the clothes that are too small to fit you? Or, if you're a runner like me, have you gotten rid of the clothes that are too large to fit you? Either donate them or chuck them.
Did you make good on all those New Years' Resolutions you made in January? Or at least two of them? Cross them off your list!
Was there a conflict with someone? Is it no longer happening? Are you still replaying it in your head, like you're in the team's projection room? Time to dump it and make room for next year's episodes!
Are there friends on Facebook who ignore you? Are there other people who IM or e-mail you when you don't have the time or the inclination to chat? That's why some genius invented the Unfriend button, and some other genius invented the Block button -- toss 'em!
We're heading towards the finish line of 2011, people. Like I said in an earlier entry, we don't need anyone or anything riding piggy back on our shoulders, weighing us down and planting negative and self-hating thoughts in our heads if we're running a race. Lose the unnecessary baggage! Throw it in the garbage! You'll hit that finish line so fast you won't know you had it in you!!! You don't need any of that crapola in 2012, so why hold onto it?
So here comes December, the last leg of this race -- make it a good one . . . and have a happy holiday season, no matter how you celebrate it!
Don't forget to comment!
Friday, November 25, 2011
Day And Night -- A Thanksgiving Post
Yesterday was Thanksgiving. A completely American holiday! An old friend of mine on Facebook recently described how this day should be considered the perfect holiday: no annoying music, nobody getting drunk, no exclusion based on religion, and the option of watching three football games featuring some of the best teams in the NFL!
I've commented in the past how Thanksgiving appeared to be evolving into a two-day holiday, following the lead set by Jews in the western hemisphere, who celebrated several holidays that had originally been celebrated as one day, for two. However, it appears that the retail industry has taken advantage of this trend, to the point of infringing on the holiday itself. Accordingly, this expected two-day holiday is splitting into two completely separate halves, and they couldn't be more different than day and night.
"Black Friday" has become the unofficial first shopping day of the Christmas/Holiday season. When this term because part of our culture, there was the understanding that this would be the opportunity for all the aggressive early-bird types to buy all the gifts they needed for Chanukah/Christmas/Kwanzaa as soon as Thanksgiving was over, to avoid the last-minute insanity of buying gifts on Christmas Eve itself (those who celebrate Chanukah, an 8-day holiday, could argue that the gifts could be given on the last night, and not the first night, but that only delays and extends the last-minute insanity).
Most retail outlets would acknowledge these early birds by opening their stores early. Maybe at 7am, maybe at 6 am. That is to say, at dawn, or maybe a few minutes beforehand, on the morning of the day AFTER Thanksgiving.
So what do we now have this year? Stores opening at 3 a.m. Not good enough? 2 a.m. Still not content to camp outside in tents until then? Midnight at Target (tar-ZHAY)! But now, thanks to Walmart, Best Buy, and Geek Squad, we have the final insult -- 10 pm on Thanksgiving ITSELF!
Employees had to put the kabosh on their own Thanksgiving dinner, and all the happiness that goes with it, for the sake of material things! Early-bird types were now prepping to go to retail malls and outlets late at night, or in the "wee small hours of the morning," to grab the best deals they could off the shelves, with the knowledge that if they were not fast enough, someone else could yank it away from them.
Excuse me . . . is this not the same insanity that the idea of Black Friday was intended to prevent? Shopping for presents at insane hours?? Whatever happened to the image of being thankful for what we've already been given -- have we rejected that so quickly to grab and snatch what we don't already have???
Even if Thanksgiving one day becomes a two-day holiday, let's please make it two days of Thanksgiving, and NOT Black Thursday And Friday. Yes, it certainly is a tradition to give gifts to loved ones during the December celebrations that follow Thanksgiving, but it's not a life-or-death obligation! Gift-giving is meant to make the holidays happier and more enjoyable, and not to usurp, overtake, or obliterate the true meaning of the holiday!
So my recommendation is this: The day after Thanksgiving, if you don't have to work, use it as you would any other vacation day. Sleep late! If you want to make sure you're not forgetting to buy gifts for the loved ones in your life, wait until the weekend AFTER Thanksgiving. If you can't wait that long, do it the SUNDAY after Thanksgiving! The recipients of your gifts will (hopefully) be a thousand times more concerned with the thought that went into your choice of gift than the manner in which it was obtained (or how much it cost you).
As I said above, the tradition of gift-giving at this time of the year is meant to make the holidays happier and more enjoyable. What you choose to give is not a measure of who you are as a person, and neither is the price of the gift you purchased. However, there are still those who think of gift-giving as a mandatory requirement and a dollar-for-dollar obligation, and continue to use it as an excuse for demeaning tit-for-tat attitudes towards others. As a result, the joy of gift-giving is sometimes ruined because it becomes something that is motivated less by caring and happiness, and more by a desire to appease someone else. All I'll say on that subject is that those of us who choose to express our friendship, affection, and love for others through gifts are welcome to do so because they choose to give that way, not because some unseen force tells us we MUST purchase it at 2am to get the best deal, not because "everyone's doing it," not to make ourselves look good, and not so we can demand something from the recipient later! It's a gift, not an obligation -- that means that the recipient is not required to reciprocate anything. If they choose to do so, that's great -- but it's their decision to do so, and not yours!
In conclusion, let's remember that the message of Thanksgiving should temper the gift-giving season with a little wisdom. We cannot be defined by gifts. Gifts are important, but the people in your life matter a thousand times more than gifts do. The fact that we have these people in our lives, and that they hopefully love us as much as we love them, is the greatest gift that there is, and it cannot be priced or put on sale like material objects. If you really wanted to rush out there and snag all the gifts you could, I'm glad I didn't stop you. However, life would be a little more balanced if we rushed out to be kind and respectful to others just as quickly and just as intently as we did when a corporate giant told us to buy something when we should have been sleeping.
DISCLAIMER: The above post was not meant to impede or decry our capitalist system, to state that gifts should never be purchased, or to imply that anyone who looks forward to receiving gifts in December is wrong. Any misperception of insults or besmirchings is entirely the responsibility of the reader of this message, and the author bears no responsibility for same.
For those who read and like this blog, I am thankful for you. Just as I am already thankful for my health, my earnings, my family, and my friends, I am thankful for you. Please keep reading, and don't be afraid to comment!
I've commented in the past how Thanksgiving appeared to be evolving into a two-day holiday, following the lead set by Jews in the western hemisphere, who celebrated several holidays that had originally been celebrated as one day, for two. However, it appears that the retail industry has taken advantage of this trend, to the point of infringing on the holiday itself. Accordingly, this expected two-day holiday is splitting into two completely separate halves, and they couldn't be more different than day and night.
"Black Friday" has become the unofficial first shopping day of the Christmas/Holiday season. When this term because part of our culture, there was the understanding that this would be the opportunity for all the aggressive early-bird types to buy all the gifts they needed for Chanukah/Christmas/Kwanzaa as soon as Thanksgiving was over, to avoid the last-minute insanity of buying gifts on Christmas Eve itself (those who celebrate Chanukah, an 8-day holiday, could argue that the gifts could be given on the last night, and not the first night, but that only delays and extends the last-minute insanity).
Most retail outlets would acknowledge these early birds by opening their stores early. Maybe at 7am, maybe at 6 am. That is to say, at dawn, or maybe a few minutes beforehand, on the morning of the day AFTER Thanksgiving.
So what do we now have this year? Stores opening at 3 a.m. Not good enough? 2 a.m. Still not content to camp outside in tents until then? Midnight at Target (tar-ZHAY)! But now, thanks to Walmart, Best Buy, and Geek Squad, we have the final insult -- 10 pm on Thanksgiving ITSELF!
Employees had to put the kabosh on their own Thanksgiving dinner, and all the happiness that goes with it, for the sake of material things! Early-bird types were now prepping to go to retail malls and outlets late at night, or in the "wee small hours of the morning," to grab the best deals they could off the shelves, with the knowledge that if they were not fast enough, someone else could yank it away from them.
Excuse me . . . is this not the same insanity that the idea of Black Friday was intended to prevent? Shopping for presents at insane hours?? Whatever happened to the image of being thankful for what we've already been given -- have we rejected that so quickly to grab and snatch what we don't already have???
Even if Thanksgiving one day becomes a two-day holiday, let's please make it two days of Thanksgiving, and NOT Black Thursday And Friday. Yes, it certainly is a tradition to give gifts to loved ones during the December celebrations that follow Thanksgiving, but it's not a life-or-death obligation! Gift-giving is meant to make the holidays happier and more enjoyable, and not to usurp, overtake, or obliterate the true meaning of the holiday!
So my recommendation is this: The day after Thanksgiving, if you don't have to work, use it as you would any other vacation day. Sleep late! If you want to make sure you're not forgetting to buy gifts for the loved ones in your life, wait until the weekend AFTER Thanksgiving. If you can't wait that long, do it the SUNDAY after Thanksgiving! The recipients of your gifts will (hopefully) be a thousand times more concerned with the thought that went into your choice of gift than the manner in which it was obtained (or how much it cost you).
As I said above, the tradition of gift-giving at this time of the year is meant to make the holidays happier and more enjoyable. What you choose to give is not a measure of who you are as a person, and neither is the price of the gift you purchased. However, there are still those who think of gift-giving as a mandatory requirement and a dollar-for-dollar obligation, and continue to use it as an excuse for demeaning tit-for-tat attitudes towards others. As a result, the joy of gift-giving is sometimes ruined because it becomes something that is motivated less by caring and happiness, and more by a desire to appease someone else. All I'll say on that subject is that those of us who choose to express our friendship, affection, and love for others through gifts are welcome to do so because they choose to give that way, not because some unseen force tells us we MUST purchase it at 2am to get the best deal, not because "everyone's doing it," not to make ourselves look good, and not so we can demand something from the recipient later! It's a gift, not an obligation -- that means that the recipient is not required to reciprocate anything. If they choose to do so, that's great -- but it's their decision to do so, and not yours!
In conclusion, let's remember that the message of Thanksgiving should temper the gift-giving season with a little wisdom. We cannot be defined by gifts. Gifts are important, but the people in your life matter a thousand times more than gifts do. The fact that we have these people in our lives, and that they hopefully love us as much as we love them, is the greatest gift that there is, and it cannot be priced or put on sale like material objects. If you really wanted to rush out there and snag all the gifts you could, I'm glad I didn't stop you. However, life would be a little more balanced if we rushed out to be kind and respectful to others just as quickly and just as intently as we did when a corporate giant told us to buy something when we should have been sleeping.
DISCLAIMER: The above post was not meant to impede or decry our capitalist system, to state that gifts should never be purchased, or to imply that anyone who looks forward to receiving gifts in December is wrong. Any misperception of insults or besmirchings is entirely the responsibility of the reader of this message, and the author bears no responsibility for same.
For those who read and like this blog, I am thankful for you. Just as I am already thankful for my health, my earnings, my family, and my friends, I am thankful for you. Please keep reading, and don't be afraid to comment!
Sunday, November 20, 2011
Don't Hulk Out!
Of course, I'm not referring to the former WWF champion who told kids to "say their prayers and eat their vitamins," and threatened to have Hulkamania run wild on his opponents. I mean that brainchild of Stan Lee who turned into a green-skinned giant whenever he got angry!
Lately I've been talking about things that should make us angry, specifically bullies and the enablers who keep them around. The anger they inspire should manifest itself in action: to set boundaries, to grow backbones, to reject and condemn those who (still) expect to get away with it, and to eliminate it from our lives. But what if you're feeling anger for the same of anger, ranting for the sake of ranting, and hate for the sake of hate -- with no constructive purpose to use it for????
You're in trouble, that's what!
If you sit in a dark room by yourself, thinking only about things that make you angry, and don't do anything about it, you've introduced a parasite into your psyche. You have injected a tapeworm into your brain and allowed it to eat away at everything that would otherwise be healthy and positive. You have transformed your anger into resentment, which can kill you just like smoking or overeating can: it's a disgusting habit that slowly erodes everything good -- the difference being that smoking and overeating destroy the body, while resentment destroys your mind, your soul, and your personality.
Psychologists describe resentment as the result of suppressed or repressed anger. The only way to prevent resentment is to use it properly. It is a weapon meant to be used from a position of strength to make needed changes. It is not a crutch, it is not an excuse, and it is not permission for you to do or say things that hurt those who don't deserve it. If you think it is, you're putting your own psyche through a meat-grinder!
So what if you're someplace where you can't get rid of it at the moment? Keep thinking about it at that moment, you'll get distracted and sloppy, you'll lose your focus and your energy, and the source of your anger will (yet again) get off scot-free!
Being a long-distance runner, let me use the marathon as an example. The marathon is the ultimate endurance exercise for your body and your mind. You train your body by constant activity, putting it through the distance and time it will take to finish the rate. You also train your mind for the same thing. That means you visualize turning on your speed at Mile 18. That means you think about friends or family who will call at your name and hold up big signs on the course! And that means you DO NOT think about whether your time is too slow, whether you shut the oven off, whether you missed a deadline at work, or whether someone made you angry and you wish you could tell them off right then and there. And if ANY of those thoughts are creeping into your head, scuffing your shoes, or slowing your stride, TURN THEM OFF, OR YOU'LL FIND YOURSELF LIMPING TO THE FINISH LINE TOMORROW WHILE EVERYONE ELSE HAS GONE HOME!
In other words, tell yourself to "stop," and then for the next minute or two, don't think about anything. Maybe slow your pace to a jog while doing this, but whatever you need to do, get it out of your head. You're running a marathon, and that's not a time to be carrying excess baggage. Get your head in the race, and not up somewhere else! ;)
If those malcontents and jabroni's knew that you were giving them a piggy-back ride to the finish line, they'd probably laugh out loud because they won (again)! And if you're doing something else you like other than that, imagine how bad it would be giving them a free lunch, or a free hotel stay in your head. Thinking about anyone or anything that makes you mad while you're trying to do something that you enjoy is ridiculous. Once you're able to do something about it, you pull the trigger, but they don't get to have your thoughts when it's your time, and not them!
Don't misread me, I'm not saying that anger is better when it's repressed, far from it! What I'm saying is that your anger must be controlled, harnessed, and dominated, because IT WORKS FOR YOU, NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND! When it's the wrong time, turn it off. When it's the right time, and you're using it the right way, then and only then, TURN IT ON AND GO DEEP!!!!!!!!!!!!
YOU decide when the anger comes out, and YOU decide when to keep it together. Times when the source of your anger is not present and not causing you trouble, directly or indirectly, is when you keep it together. Times that they are crossing a line, and they are talking trash, and they are expecting to perform yet another action without a consequence, DON'T HOLD BACK, MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
When you're mature, you pick your battles and the times you fight them, and not the other way around. It's your mind, it's your life, it's your manhood. Show them all who's boss and make them do their jobs right! You can't control all the gangsters in this world, but you can, and must, control you.
I'd like to thank two of my toughest critics for this one. Please feel free to comment!
Lately I've been talking about things that should make us angry, specifically bullies and the enablers who keep them around. The anger they inspire should manifest itself in action: to set boundaries, to grow backbones, to reject and condemn those who (still) expect to get away with it, and to eliminate it from our lives. But what if you're feeling anger for the same of anger, ranting for the sake of ranting, and hate for the sake of hate -- with no constructive purpose to use it for????
You're in trouble, that's what!
If you sit in a dark room by yourself, thinking only about things that make you angry, and don't do anything about it, you've introduced a parasite into your psyche. You have injected a tapeworm into your brain and allowed it to eat away at everything that would otherwise be healthy and positive. You have transformed your anger into resentment, which can kill you just like smoking or overeating can: it's a disgusting habit that slowly erodes everything good -- the difference being that smoking and overeating destroy the body, while resentment destroys your mind, your soul, and your personality.
Psychologists describe resentment as the result of suppressed or repressed anger. The only way to prevent resentment is to use it properly. It is a weapon meant to be used from a position of strength to make needed changes. It is not a crutch, it is not an excuse, and it is not permission for you to do or say things that hurt those who don't deserve it. If you think it is, you're putting your own psyche through a meat-grinder!
So what if you're someplace where you can't get rid of it at the moment? Keep thinking about it at that moment, you'll get distracted and sloppy, you'll lose your focus and your energy, and the source of your anger will (yet again) get off scot-free!
Being a long-distance runner, let me use the marathon as an example. The marathon is the ultimate endurance exercise for your body and your mind. You train your body by constant activity, putting it through the distance and time it will take to finish the rate. You also train your mind for the same thing. That means you visualize turning on your speed at Mile 18. That means you think about friends or family who will call at your name and hold up big signs on the course! And that means you DO NOT think about whether your time is too slow, whether you shut the oven off, whether you missed a deadline at work, or whether someone made you angry and you wish you could tell them off right then and there. And if ANY of those thoughts are creeping into your head, scuffing your shoes, or slowing your stride, TURN THEM OFF, OR YOU'LL FIND YOURSELF LIMPING TO THE FINISH LINE TOMORROW WHILE EVERYONE ELSE HAS GONE HOME!
In other words, tell yourself to "stop," and then for the next minute or two, don't think about anything. Maybe slow your pace to a jog while doing this, but whatever you need to do, get it out of your head. You're running a marathon, and that's not a time to be carrying excess baggage. Get your head in the race, and not up somewhere else! ;)
If those malcontents and jabroni's knew that you were giving them a piggy-back ride to the finish line, they'd probably laugh out loud because they won (again)! And if you're doing something else you like other than that, imagine how bad it would be giving them a free lunch, or a free hotel stay in your head. Thinking about anyone or anything that makes you mad while you're trying to do something that you enjoy is ridiculous. Once you're able to do something about it, you pull the trigger, but they don't get to have your thoughts when it's your time, and not them!
Don't misread me, I'm not saying that anger is better when it's repressed, far from it! What I'm saying is that your anger must be controlled, harnessed, and dominated, because IT WORKS FOR YOU, NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND! When it's the wrong time, turn it off. When it's the right time, and you're using it the right way, then and only then, TURN IT ON AND GO DEEP!!!!!!!!!!!!
YOU decide when the anger comes out, and YOU decide when to keep it together. Times when the source of your anger is not present and not causing you trouble, directly or indirectly, is when you keep it together. Times that they are crossing a line, and they are talking trash, and they are expecting to perform yet another action without a consequence, DON'T HOLD BACK, MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
When you're mature, you pick your battles and the times you fight them, and not the other way around. It's your mind, it's your life, it's your manhood. Show them all who's boss and make them do their jobs right! You can't control all the gangsters in this world, but you can, and must, control you.
I'd like to thank two of my toughest critics for this one. Please feel free to comment!
Sunday, November 13, 2011
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