Another Repost for MLK

 Good Evening All - Since I've already gone over this ground, here's a repost, by popular demand, in honor of the Reverend Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.  It's been edited a little to go with the times.

Today, we honored the birthday and celebrated the life of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.  Dr. King was one of those rare men who rise above human nature and its many weaknesses to bring about real change.

He came of age at a time when racism was as American as apple pie.  Most chose to accept simply accept it.  Jim Crow laws, separate-but-(un)equal facilities, and policies designed to keep one race isolated and abject were omnipresent.

The only other alternative besides "just accepting it" would have been starting rebellions and riots.  Dr. King, however, was not that kind of man.  As a man of the cloth, he understood that peaceful resistance was the most effective means by which to stop racist laws and counteract racist culture.

When I first learned about Dr. King in elementary school, I immediately identified with him. Back then, I learned that the "the system" was not there to take my interests into account.  At the time, I was bullied, the school knew about it, and it did absolutely nothing to stop it.  Dr. King's life story dealt with not only one person, but an entire group of people, being harassed, deprived, and disadvantaged, and a government that either turned a blind eye to what was occurring, or sometimes even encouraged it!  For me, it was far less an issue of race than it was an issue of respect -- or the complete lack thereof.

Dr. King can truly be said to be the greatest anti-bullying advocate there ever was, before people even understood that there was such a thing as "anti-bullying!"  He also combated what we now know to be bullying in ways that most men would not conceive of implementing.  He proved that it was not necessary to stoop to a bully's level to beat him.  

Got a bully in your personal life?  Or better yet, someone who has the backing and implicit encouragement of the authorities? It's not because that person is "insecure," it's most likely because they're spoiled instead.

It may feel easy for you to start blazing your guns at them, so to speak.  As we learned from Dr. King, this is a mistake, because that's exactly what the bully wants you to do. They're trying to make you use your anger from a position of weakness, which means you will, repeat will, make mistakes.  Anger can only be used from a position of strength, which the bully will often have over you. Don't let them play with your emotions like a sucker!  Dr. King saved his passion for his speeches, not for cursing out some sheriff with a fire hose!

My suggestion?  Use the power of "NO."  Are they trying to expose your weaknesses and foibles?  Say "NO" to the entire conversation.  The fact that they want you to admit that you've forgotten something or neglected something is not their attempt to win a case or a prize -- it's their way of testing how weak you are. If it's something that you know is irrelevant and inconsequential, just answer honestly. If it's something that they want to use to make you look stupid, just change the subject.  

MLK didn't eliminate hate.  That's beyond anyone's control.  However, he did severely weaken the power hate has over society.  So if someone hates you and you can't avoid interacting with them, just weaken their power.  Start with the Four Pillars:

I EXIST. I MATTER. I BELONG. I DESERVE.

You can recite it as a mantra, you can hum it to yourself when nobody's around, it doesn't matter.  Just as long as you have these Pillars in your head when these people are screwing with you, it's a lot easier not to let them win. You'll almost render yourself bulletproof!

And so, in closing, please honor the memory of MLK.  Not just by showing respect and tolerance towards members of all races, but also by how you respond to threats and adversity.

For clarification, this post was written in a time when my lifestyle was somewhat different than it is now, accordingly the tone is different than my more recent posts.   Originally, this blog was focused merely on opposing bullying, and then evolved into an empowerment tool for Beta Males.   Since then, it has evolved even further to embrace Stoicism and Emotional Maturity.  Since Dr. King's philosophy was based in maturity, and not in machismo, the result was more powerful than the hardest punch ever thrown.

Let's not let hate blur our thoughts and pervert our judgment.  Let's not be swept away by groupthink, buzzwords, and sound bites.  Let's think first and react afterwards.  

And above all, let's give, and receive, RESPECT.

Good night all!

Cleaning House, Keeping Distance

Good Afternoon All, and Happy Easter and Passover to those who celebrate.

As previously discussed, this COVID-19 pandemic forces us, in no uncertain terms, to accept conditions beyond our control.  Some of these conditions include executive orders and government actions that would otherwise be unconstitutional, or even unthinkable.  Others include the presence of a disease that is incredibly contagious and horrifyingly real.  Nevertheless, here they are.

However, this is also a chance to take better stock of things that we actually can control.  Such as the condition of our living space, now that we're spending so much extra time here.  It's also a chance to delve inward for a little bit of self-discovery that can't be addressed in normal times.

Nothing can stop you from endless hours of scrolling and binging.  However, it could be slightly more constructive to just be.  Meditate.  Maybe pray.  Some stretching and yoga might be helpful too.  And while you're at it, maybe try cooking (after learning, if you don't already know how) more nutritious cuisine, since fine dining is no longer an option.

But most importantly, while we have this hiatus from direct social interactions, we may want to use this time to revise and revamp the manner in which we deal with people.  To decide that we can control our irritation and dislike of others' personality limitations.  To control and refine the manner in which we address (or better yet, not address) things we don't appreciate.  To prepare ourselves for what reality and experience show us will almost certainly occur once the pandemic has ended.

Let's think constructively and live wisely.

I EXIST.  I MATTER.  I BELONG.  I DESERVE.

RESPECT ALL.  BEFRIEND FEW.  LOVE ONE.  HATE NONE.

MOTHER PROTECT US, FATHER EMBOLDEN US.

Beyond Our Control, Within Our Control

Good Afternoon, Friends and Neighbors.  Hope you're all safe and healthy!

Now that the response to the Coronavirus has gone nationwide, chances are better than average that you're homebound and locked down, just like yours truly. 

Some say, what an inconvenience, we're being manipulated, we're stuck!

They're not wrong.  However, this can still be used as opportunities rather than excuses.

(1)  That Great American Novel burning inside of you?  Perfect time to write it!

(2)  That "around to it" pile you save for a rainy day that never comes?  Well even if it's not raining, that rainy day is now here!

(3)  Missed out on groceries and laundry last week?  Not this week ya didn't!

(4)  Not spending enough quality time with your loved ones?  That's now been remedied.

And best of all, your "exposure" to people who aren't good to you, or even respectful to you, has now been fortuitously halted.  From where I'm sitting, that's a luxury that we should never ask for, but also should never squander once it's presented!

Now is the perfect opportunity to build yourself back up for when this crisis ends, and discipline yourself to never be triggered by their shoddy behavior.  It's the perfect chance to redirect your thinking, reprogram your habits, and prepare yourself for the next inevitable encounter with people who behave in ways you don't appreciate.

My Stoics?  Time to delve back into the Meditations of Marcus Aurelius and the Enchiridon.  Time to further strengthen our Emotional Maturity.  And for all other stale and unresolved issues, time to accelerate and radiate them to reach the Point of Evaporation.

Even more importantly, we can recognize the actual health risks recognized by science, and do right by them:  social distancing, not staying out longer than needed, not going into the office, etc.  We can't control how this disease is spreading, or the new laws being passed in response to it.  But we most certainly can control the manner in which we respond to these conditions.

My gut tells me that the reactionary hysteria and prohibitive measures put in place will be not only temporary, but of shorter duration than anticipated.  Let's try to help make that happen.

I EXIST.  I MATTER.  I BELONG.  I DESERVE.

RESPECT ALL.  BEFRIEND FEW.  LOVE ONE.  HATE NONE.

MOTHER PROTECT US, FATHER EMBOLDEN US.

Feel free to like, comment, retweet, and follow, and together let's share how we're handling this event!

Handling It

This week, in my religion, we have the 10 Days of Awe.  This is a time of celestial auditing - our good deeds are balanced against our screwups, our victories are weighed against our mistakes, our efforts to give respect and mindfulness are balanced against our moments of uncontrolled aggression - and the consequences to our actions are set in motion.

It is thought that during this time, a few concentrated efforts and good deeds/thoughts/words might tip the scales back in our favor, and maybe neutralize pitfalls and tragedies that might otherwise be dumped on us.

Now this thought may come from one religion in particular, but I think it’s something that works for people of all faiths, and also for people of no faith.

(1)  DID YOU SCREW UP?  That’s a loaded question.  Of course you screwed up, just like anyone else!

Just correct yourself.  Own it, understand that you were wrong, and figure out how to prevent it from happening again.

(2)  DID SOMEBODY ELSE SCREW UP ON YOU?  Welcome to life.  The rest of the world is imperfect, just like you are.

After you’ve made it clear that you didn’t appreciate it, maybe let it go.  Once the deed is done and they’ve been made aware of what damage - real or perceived - was caused, don’t hang it over their heads.  That’s called holding a grudge, and it’s an obstacle to growth.  If they’ve stopped what they were doing (and possibly apologized), it’s not their fault anymore.  But if you keep holding it against them, it becomes your fault.  Don’t let this happen.

Either way you slice it, we can't control anyone else's conduct, ever.  We may have some leeway if we are parents, teachers, bosses, or law enforcement officers.  But even that has its limits, and anyone who attempts to exceed those limits is manipulating.

We most certainly can, however, control our own behavior.  We're not enslaved by other people's opinions, and we're not designed to be triggered by other people's choices of words.

So if we can try that during these 10 Days, chances may or may not be likely that the consequences we face in the coming year might not be so onerous after all.