Trump Haters? Aim It That Way.

Hey All.  Well, we know what happened.

Were you mad at him for his tone?  His vulgarity?  His crudeness?  What he said about these people, those people, and damn near everyone?

Good.  I'm honestly glad you were.  It's actually very reassuring that this world does not want to live by the alphaganda after all.  This helps my cause more than you might realize.  Now if people could only prove it by keeping their cool and not rioting.

So what to do now, that he actually won?  Divide that anger to be aimed in these five directions:

(1)  Take 20% of that anger at Trump, and aim it at children who bully.  Remember how horrible you thought Trump sounded at his debates and in his interviews, and aim it at every kid who pushes, shoves, wedgies, and threatens those weaker or less adjusted than him or her.  Pretend that kid is Trump himself, and let that kid have it!  Don't hold back!  Just 20% of Trump Hatred should shake that kid's very foundations enough to check the behavior.

(2) Take another 20%.  Aim it at abusive bosses.  Also aim it at boss-appointed bullies who flaunt authority they don't deserve.  Tell them that you think the way you're treated is unacceptable, and if it doesn't change, you're out the door.  (Caveat - unless you're prepared to be self-employed, get yourself a new job before doing this)

(3) Take another 20%.  Aim it at family members who don't treat you with respect.  I mean parents, children, spouses, partners, uncles, cousins, in-laws - no more free passes.  Just 20% of that Trump rage should put them on notice that their behavior will not be tolerated.  (Further Caveat - there is a risk of schism within the family if this happens, because there will always be enablers who think they've done nothing wrong.  Prepare for this eventuality)

(4) Take another 20%.  Aim it at any laws, rules, ordinances, or regulations are unjust, unethical, unfairly prejudicial, harmful, or contrary to reasonable expectations of fairness.  In other words, get rid of stupid rules.  I'm not saying be a foolish revolutionary, since you only get 20% for this assignment.  But make your voice heard.  Write your Congressperson/Senator/State legislator/local legislator and tell them what's not right.  Go to a school board meeting and tell them why things should change.  Act like there's something that might be bigger than your own immediate space, and that it matters big time!  And I'm not interested in whether it's a conservative or a liberal issue - I'm interested in explaining why a rule should be repealed, and not just violated.  And that means persuasion, and not senseless violence.

(5) Take another 20%.  Aim it at the mirror!  We're far from perfect, you and I, and we can admit to ourselves that there are times we've done and said things that even Trump wouldn't!  If you're grown enough to own that, then you can take it upon yourself the responsibility of ceasing it.  If you're still hating Trump, but excusing your own conduct, you can feel free to refer to this process as DeTrumping Yourself!  Think he's so horrible, he's an ogre, he's no good?  Then make yourselves as much of an opposite of that as you can.  Bashing him every minute of every day is an unprofitable venture - demonstrating that you don't emulate those traits will yield huge dividends.

Nobody said he was a role model.  He was elected to be a leader in spite of his foibles, and not because of them.

Ummm, Daaaaaaave?  Can I ask a question?

You just did, so obviously you can.

How could you support him, of all people?!?  You spent how many years lamenting the evil that these men do, and now you choose him to be our President?!?

I'm glad you asked me that most popular and bandwagon-esque of all questions.  For the answer, however, we'll just have to wait until the Inauguration this January.

Until then, I'm looking towards Thanksgiving - where we can all show gratitude, and not regret.  Towards the phenomenon of Chanukah commencing on Christmas Eve - you can't get much more Judeo-Christian than that!  And of course, the year 2017 - foretold by Billy Joel in one of his best songs.


Night All!

I EXIST.  I MATTER.  I BELONG.  I DESERVE.

I AM BOLD.  I AM BULLETPROOF.  I AM BETA.

How NOT To Be Bulletproof

Hey All - It's About that time!

Yes, it's not exactly news right now, but it still bugs me the way last week's debate went down.  I've posted many, many times about what it means to be Bulletproof:  to never be ruffled by other peoples' insults and conduct; to prevent offenses from getting under your skin; to repel any attempt to ruin your mood.

Aaaaaand then there's Trump.

I remember telling everyone I knew, I bet I know what his advisors are telling him.  It was funny when you busted balls with Jeb Bush, and it was entertaining when you, Cruz, and Rubio made like the Three Stooges.  But you CAN'T do that with Hillary!  She'll make you look like an idiot if you handle that debate the same way!

So for about five minutes, he was cool, calm, and collected.  After that, he went right back to being thin-skinned and combative when he could have been smooth and smart.  It was very difficult to watch.  Yes, he made a few nice recoveries - I'll release my tax returns when you release your deleted emails - but in all the time he spent reacting and responding to her nonsense, he could have challenged her about Benghazi.  And the presence of Bill and Chelsea in the room should not have been an excuse not to bring up Lewinsky and Company once the opportunity presented itself.

To her credit, this is what attorneys in the area I practice do.  They try to distract the Judge and the other side in hopes that arguments against them will not be stated on the record, and therefore waived.  But experienced attorneys know not to leave the hearing room without raising those issues no matter what the other side does.  Donald, by comparison, is very lucky that there will be two more debates.

But my issue with Donald's debate performance is that he presented a textbook example of what it looks like when you're NOT bulletproof.  He got so rattled  . . . so defensive . . . so unhinged . . . did he want Saturday Night Live to have a field day with him on their premiere?!  No, Mr. Trump.  Please!

Don't misunderstand me, I'm human too.  I know how it feels not be bulletproof when pressed or pushed.  But normally that happens with me when I'm confronted with people with whom I don't expect to keep my guard up against.  NOT when it's someone who can't have a free pass!  Had he kept his guard up and steamrolled right over her snarkiness, he might have won.

As Betas, since we are often more empathetic than our more high-conflict counterparts, we sometimes take things to heart when it does not help us to do so.  We often react to distractions that are designed to let our adversaries off the hook.  Only with a strong amount of emotional maturity can we prevent them from antagonizing us.  The amount that Trump so sorely needed.

How?  Here:

(1) Armor yourself:  Your internal feelings are stable, if not at ease.  Your skin is so thick that even the best aimed barb bounces off into the audience.
(2) Prepare yourself:  EXPECT them to try to get you off your game.  When you know which way they'll go, you'll be better equipped to deflect them.
(3) Believe in yourself:  They want to break your confidence.  Make it unbreakable.

Night All!