Revenge Evaporates

Hey All.  Looks like spring is finally here!

This is kind of an old-hat topic, but I felt the need to return to it.

Demonization Is Death.

Part of the reason we stay so angry at those who wronged us is that it's so easy.  It takes no skill at all to just get angry.  That's why children are always doing it and need to be taught how to stop.

This world we live in has become more and more contentious by the day.  Physical confrontations are started and manipulated to go viral.  Debates escalate into full-out war just because someone doesn't like someone else's FB post.  And divorces are less about an orderly termination of a marriage and far more about making the other former spouse's life as difficult as possible.

The reason for this is because we stop trying to understand the ways of our opponents and we instead see them as less than human, undeserving of respect, and something to be destroyed with as much pain as possible.  This is a mistake of the highest order.

This way of thinking enables the narcissists, abusers, and manipulators to do even more of what they do.  It justifies their high-conflict personalities, and encourages them to be aggressive where no aggression is needed.  It also keeps us stuck forever blaming, pointing, and self-victimizing.

How To Stop?

(1)  The Fact That It's Their Fault Does Not Give Us a Lifetime Free Pass.

Being someone else's victim does not make us flawless, does not exonerate us from all of our own wrongdoing, or render us immune to our own responsibility.  Contrary to popular opinion, it does not place us onto a pedestal from which we can continue judging, ad infinitum and ad nauseum, or to hurt others with immunity and impunity.

(2) We Cannot Spend A Lifetime Blaming Someone Else For How We Are.

The way to deal with our opponents is by either (a) removing them; or (b) refusing to allow them to trigger us.  Not by attributing all of our misfortune and shortcomings to them.  Yes, they still are alpholes and narcissists, let's be honest.  But what they are is far less important than what we are.  Whatever they may have done or said is not an excuse for us being filled with bitterness and resentment, no matter what the enablers and sycophants might suggest.

(3) Reach The Point Of Evaporation.

As I've said in my last post, when speaking about Tony Robbins and #MeToo, most modern-day problems and grievances eventually reach a Point of Evaporation.  Racism, sexism, rape culture, and other types of hatred do still exist, but they're shadows of their former selves.  It is only a matter of time before the Point of Evaporation is reached there - and at that point, the backlash that you may think is deserved against those perpetrators is no longer necessary.  It has evaporated into thin air.  So let our hate and anger do likewise.

To reach Emotional Maturity, resentment and grudges must be contained, controlled, and where possible, eliminated forever.  It doesn't mean that they weren't wrong, and it doesn't mean that we didn't get wronged.  But it does mean that we are not ruled by hate and anger at someone else's actions, and we are instead taking responsibility for our lives.

It's not our place to seek revenge, and it's not our obligation to remain in a state of war against people we don't like.  We are not avenging angels, and it's not up to us to interfere with the judgment that will be executed against them.  I've been giving Her a little bit of a break lately, but say it with me . . .

THERE'S A LADY NAMED KARMA.  SHE'S NOT ATTRACTED TO BAD BOYS AND SHE'S NOT FRIENDS WITH MEAN GIRLS.  SHE SOLELY DOMINATES THE FIELD OF VENGEANCE BECAUSE SHE HAS MUCH BETTER TOOLS AT HER DISPOSAL THAN WE DO.

Let's let it evaporate, and kiss it on up to Our Mother.  She'll handle it for us.

I EXIST.  I MATTER.  I BELONG.  I DESERVE.

RESPECT ALL.  BEFRIEND FEW.  LOVE ONE.  HATE NONE.

FROM HERE TO THE POINT OF EVAPORATION.

EMOTIONAL MATURITY.