Like the title? Wasn't thinking Jane Austen, but it just sort of happened.
To be honest, it's more than a little bit annoying to think that when someone else does something wrong to us, we still bear even a hint of responsibility. Many times when people say this, it's because (a) they're the ones who did us wrong and they don't feel like owning it; (b) someone is trying to manipulate you; or (c) "they like to see you squirm."
When they're wrong, they're wrong, there's no denying that. But that's not the end of the story. Believe it or not, how we respond or react isn't exactly their fault. They're not telling us what to say or how to say it - we are.
We need brevity. As I've stated before, whatever negative emotion you're feeling about someone else must be felt for a short period of time. It doesn't have to be only two seconds and then announce to everyone "It Doesn't Bother Meeee-eeeee" - that's just showing off. But whether it's a few minutes or less than an hour, you must train yourself to stop it. It's not helping you the longer it's there. If you can't use it constructively, then you can't keep it around long.
(1) Can you do something about it? Aim it that way, right now!!
(2) Can you not do something about it? Get rid of it, right now!!
We need clarity. We have to present a basic cost/benefit analysis as to whether the negative emotions are honestly worth it. If they can't bring about a workable result, then turn them off.
We need faith. We have to donate our hurt feelings, our grudges, our rage/fury/hatred and dislike of others up to the only One who can really judge them. I wish I had a scorecard for you, as well as pie-charts and graphs to tell you how often it happens, but I don't. Nevertheless, I've seen this Lady go to work and go to town on people who've done my wrong, and she's been known to pack a whallop on them. So remember:
- There's A Lady Named Karma. She's not attracted to bad boys and She doesn't hang with mean girls.
- She seeks justice and consequences in all things, especially when it can't happen due to others' misdeeds.
- She has much better tools for vengeance at Her disposal, and She won't screw up the job the way you or I might.
That doesn't mean you just let things happen when you do have the opportunity to stop them. There is a Father G-D above us who will remind us, "This is your job, not Mine." But there is also a Mother G-SS who can handle everything that we can't.
I EXIST. I MATTER. I BELONG. I DESERVE.
I AM BOLD. I AM BULLETPROOF.
I AM EMOTIONALLY MATURE.