One reason why we react the way we do to everyday issues and troubles is because we got used to doing it a certain way at an early age. Childhood and adolescence, those "Wonder Years." We get stuck in a pattern, our responses get rehearsed so many times they become automatic. So it's very easy to stop changing and growing at some point.
But believe it or not, this can be altered and upgraded. Any. Time. We. Feel. Like. It.
It's not an on/off switch like our more critical neighbors like to believe. But it is within our power nonetheless.
This right here is the most important part. Our self-talk can keep us stuck in the holding pattern of getting annoyed, argumentative, defensive, or enraged at the same provocation. We keep thinking, I can't stand this guy, this woman is so stupid, this kid should shut up, so our brains become wired to always think of that person in a negative light. It's like you see their face and name on a jumbo-tron and your internal capacity crowd starts booing and cursing! So when you actually see them, Guess What Happens?
To avoid this, flip the script. Find a way to stop this internal Two-Minute Hate. Such as:
(A). Decide that you will not react that way. Because they don't make you angry, you get angry. And you can also not get angry.
(B). Prepare responses that will diffuse your reactions, and not manipulate them further. Those that will repel anything that would otherwise trip a trigger. Those that will make you, and anyone else, smile, and not fume.
Commit yourself. Do not show fear, pain, or anger. As stated above, do not absorb. Repel. Block the shots. Use your stick to deflect it, use your glove to smother it. Be Bulletproof!
You knew I was going there, ha ha!
(3). Follow Through.
Don't be that guy. Don't wait until they leave the room and say, What a nasty woman, what a loud mouth ass, I thought they'd never shut up. That just undoes everything we already did! It makes it seem like an act, and that you're not really that mature at all!
After the encounter, exhale. Breathe a sigh of relief. Pat yourself on the back for keeping it together, and dismiss them from your thoughts.
Chances are, they won't expect the change. Shock 'em. It's very powerful to stay calm when you're expected to fly off the handle.
I EXIST. I MATTER. I BELONG. I DESERVE.
I AM BOLD. I AM BULLETPROOF.
I AM EMOTIONALLY MATURE.