Total Pageviews

Saturday, February 28, 2015

The Have and The Lack

Hey All!  My "producer" advised me to lay off the entry for Sunday night, because the Oscars were on, so here is a slightly delayed blog entry.

Sometimes we feel that the grass is greener on the other side of the fence.  Sometimes we feel that were might be inadequate in comparison with others.  And yes, sometimes other people win and we lose.

It's OK to admit that we're somewhat fragile, and we sometimes feel sad or disappointed when this happens.  However, this does not make it OK to focus, emphasize, or unnaturally obsess over that which we do not have.

There might be negative values in mathematics.  There are no such things in real life.  You cannot assign a value to that which you do not have, or do not possess, or which does not exist in the first place.

Does someone else have an expensive possession that you can't afford?  An attractive female companion that "would never go for someone like me?"  A more exciting job?  A whole crowd of people who agree with every single thing they say?

Congratulations to them, they must be (making you think that they are always) very happy.  Enough about them, what about you?

The key here is to focus on what you have, and not what someone else has that you lack.  Chances are that these bon vivants lack things that you have!  Maybe your job has strengths that his does not.  Maybe your more modest possessions are of higher quality.  Maybe your strengths are more valuable than you realize, and when you stop mourning over what you don't have, you'll appreciate what you do have even more.

And another thing about what you do have  . . .  once you embrace its strengths and values, don't be ashamed.  Don't let anyone pontificate, guilt-trip, or insult you into thinking that you owe some of it to others who lack it.  When they do that, it's even worse than mourning over things that are lacking.  It's demanding that those who possess it give it to those who don't, just because.

There's nothing wrong with being charitable when you choose to be.  In fact, it's admirable.  But
 just like you don't demand that someone who has something you lack provide it to you, don't think you're obligated, or required, to share anything that you don't choose to share.  Let someone else be deluded by that way of thinking.

That's the jam -- love it, hate it, feel free to say so!