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Saturday, May 3, 2014

Chinks In The Armor

Hey All!

Had the kind of Saturday afternoon where I really needed to focus on something good to post.  Yes, the cleaning lady was over, relieving me of an otherwise unfortunate menial household task.  Still, had to stay here to "supervise," rendering me immobile.  Hey, that's the price of having someone else keep your place presentable.  :)

The reason why many of us, beta or otherwise, encounter so many obstacles in life is that we have a weakness.  We have an Achilles' heel, we have a kill switch, we have a virus that freezes up the hard drive known as our brain, and sets us back.

This could be many different things to many different people, but rest assured it's something that happened in the past.  My dearly beloved adversaries in the "we don't care, we're too cool" crowd will instantly pooh-pooh this fact because they've always "gotten over it," so they think nothing from their past weighs them down, and if anyone else does, there's something wrong with them.  I'll let them say whatever they feel, with the knowledge that everyone has something from the past weighing them down, no matter how much they deny it.

Your past is a part of you, that's unavoidable.  History cannot be altered.  You can't do what George Lucas did to the original Star Wars trilogy and change what already happened.  Right, wrong, or indifferent, that's the way it was.

Notice I emphasize . . . was.

Here in the present, there are number of ways you can handle the past.  You can suppress it, ignore it, and pretend it never happened, like the "cool kids" say they do.  If you're able to do that, that's nice, but you may face bigger problems.  As my father loves to say, "He who does not learn the lessons of history is forever condemned to repeat them."

You can also allow it to rule you.  Because someone yelled at you really loudly as a child, you could become a sweet, docile, non-assertive people-pleaser, because you'll do anything to avoid having anyone angry at you.  Because someone hurt you in your younger years, you could become guarded, snippy, suspicious, defensive, and cold-hearted to anyone who crosses your path, because you just can't trust anyone not to hurt you.  Because somebody rejected you, you'll just reject everyone else to protect yourself.

Or . . . you can make peace with it.

You can accept that what happened, happened, but is not happening now.  You can realize that those events cannot affect the here and now.  You can become emotionally detached from it.

You can accept it as a part of history memorialized only in old books and photos.  You can reduce it to dry references and footnotes, instead of allowing it to define you.  You can keep it for informational purposes, but not as a reflection of current values.

How you do it is up to you.  You should know how your own mind works better than I do, or anyone else does.  But if you want to fill in the chinks in your armor, and really be a bold and bulletproof beta, then you need to take these lessons of the past, scan them into some kind of psychological zip drive, and save them somewhere other than your active thoughts.  If they are somehow manifesting themselves subconsciously in your present thoughts and actions, then engage in some redirection.

You cannot afford to let your past affect your present to your detriment.  If you let it, it will ruin you.  It will sap your strength.  It will stunt your growth.  It will leave you stranded on a psychological plateau, leaving you incapable of advancing or improving yourself for the rest of your life.

This blog is about the Advancement of beta males.  As long as you stay in a state of arrested development, forever fighting with ghosts and memories, seeking vengeance on those who got away with it, and mourning over unfinished business, you will not be successful.

It's also about the Redemption of beta males.  Not just from outside sources who've held you down, but from holding yourself down.  You must free yourself from anything that holds you back, especially yourself!

And it's also about the Self-Actualization of beta males.  And part of that means that you can only live in the here and now.

Whatever happened is done.  The past will always be a part of who you are, but it should not, and cannot, be the strongest part of you.  Your passions and drive should only be centered on the present, or on preparation for the immediate future, and not on things that have already transpired and cannot be rearranged.

Once the past is filed away where it belongs, you will become bold and bulletproof.



Have a great weekend, all!