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Sunday, October 21, 2012

Under Your Skin

Hey All -- Double Portion!

No matter what we do, there is always a chance that someone, or something, will get under our skin.  Get our goat, grind our gears, boil our blood . . . or just plain p--- us off!

(sorry all, this is a family blog)

We're only human, so unless we're campaigning for sainthood, we're at least going to feel this reaction emotionally, even if we don't actually express it.  So what's to be done about it, without exposing ourselves to homicide charges?

(A)  NEVER let your anger effect your judgment.  Expressing why you're getting ticked, even a little bit forcefully, is OK, but DON'T let that expression include (1) any kind of cursing; (2) name-calling or slams against the other person (especially not anything that could cost you your reputation); or (3) any sort of threats.  If you must call someone on their BS, call them out only on the specific issues, and don't hit "below the belt."  Chances are, these people are trying to goad you into all of the above, and they're experts in using them against you.

(B)  FIND the breach in your "skin," patch it back up, and heal it. We've all got weak spots, but you don't let them stay weak and vulnerable if you expect to function like a healthy and same adult.  If need be, find a trusted family member or friend to vent to about how it stings and hurts.  Or better yet, open a new page in your journal and let 'er rip.  Write down everything you hate or can't stand about what's happened, and LEAVE it all on that page.  If it's in there, and not bouncing around your cerebral cortex, you've advanced yourself many levels and gotten your "groove" back.  Then get to work on the chink in your armor that allowed a sling or arrow to penetrate, and seal it back the heck up.  Don't leave that area unguarded again if you can help it.

As I've previously posted, anger is only useful from a position of strength.  Unfortunately, many of us will still feel angry when we are not in a position of strength, and can't do anything about it.  The feelings will happen regardless, but we are the only ones who can keep them under control.  Let's not lose the one power we have in that situation.

Yeah, now I'm back up to date -- feel free to comment!