Good Afternoon, Gentlemen. I'm getting through a cold this weekend, but I'm still able to post, so here is this week's comment.
Recently, we've become fascinated by Charlie Sheen and his wild ways. Despite the fact that he is getting divorced yet again, and has been fired from his role on "Two And A Half Men," which would have otherwise continued to pay him several million dollars per episode, he is apparently happier showing a crazy side of his personality to the world at large. Chief among his attributes, is his living arrangement with porn "goddesses."
On one hand, it's easy to envy Charlie Sheen. Chances are, you may have viewed his "goddesses" on other websites and fantasized about being close to, or next to, them. And here he is, in all his drug-addled glory, sleeping with two of them in his own bed, and wondering why his children were taken away from him.
What makes these women "goddesses" anyway? Because they're sexy? Yes, but also because their talent is having sex on video, fueling the fantasies of millions of men who are not having sex with them, but wish they were. However, it actually makes them false goddesses.
We're familiar with a verse from the Bible in which idolatry is called out as a sin and an affront to our G-D, who never wanted competition. They have eyes, but they don't see; they have ears, but they don't hear; they have mouths, but they don't speak. The idols that were dealt with then were statues of stone or precious metals that were venerated by Israel's enemies, and inspired them to commit human sacrifices, and other horrible acts.
Granted, it may have made their religious practices more meaningful in some way with an idea of what their deity looked like. However, the physical manifestation clearly did not inspire the same type of reverence or ethical conduct that G-D had hoped for.
Internet porn is nothing but the veneration of the physical form. It is a billion-dollar industry that sells a physical fantasy, initially premised on perverting and exploiting the pleasure of having sex with beautiful women. From there, it exploits every other conceivable known sexual activity, some of which is illegal to perform or possess images of, and thrives on addiction to its material. These false goddesses do not inspire human sacrifice, but they do a inspire men and boys with low self-esteem to not even bother trying to connect with real, live females who actually have standards.
These sirens and harpies are most likely from families that allowed them to be abused in some way, which altered their notions of intimacy. They are not very well educated, well spoken, or even very polite. They are not interested in sharing intimacy or respect with anyone else, most likely because they never received any when it was needed most. Or perhaps they had aspirations of becoming legitimate actresses, but economics and low self-esteem got in the way of their dreams. Accordingly, despite the ramblings of Mr. Sheen they are NOT "goddesses." They are not fit to bed, to wed, to honor, to respect, to buy gifts, or even speak with, let alone worship.
So why are so many men and teenagers unable to stop viewing them, and stimulating themselves while doing so? Because it's just too easy. It's easier to fantasize about a lifeless image than it is to handle conflict with a loved one. It's easier to imagine a soul-less female impliedly permitting you to have your way with her than it is to connect with another live person and share her "way" with yours. And it's far too easy to allow the barrage of images and sounds available through high speed connections to stimulate you than it is to stimulate those around you. In essence, it is allowing yourself to go into a trance and allow the images to manipulate your thoughts and desires -- a lifeless man connecting with a lifeless world, and leaving the living world behind.
Of course, there are other reasons too. Maybe a man is single and lonely. Maybe he's stressed and worried about work or bills. Maybe he's bored and has no hobbies or interests that would be considered more constructive. All of these can be remedied without resorting to this perception-altering phenomenon, and I can deal with them in later posts.
For those men out there who are married and find that they can't tear themselves away from the porn, there is always help available. You can always talk to a trusted friend, a marriage counselor, a clergy person -- this has become such a common phenomenon that they're bound to have the right answers to mend the marriage, if possible.
For those men out there who are single, however, you may think that your addiction is somehow more justified. You're wrong. If you researched the background stories of many well-known serial killers and rapists, you'll find that they had very strong porn addictions themselves. I'm no psychologist, but deductive reasoning tells me that a constant diet of porn altered their perceptions of women. They did not see the woman walking her dog in the park, the lady riding the bus, or the teenager walking to school as living, breathing people. They saw them as mere earthly knock-offs of their "goddesses," and sought to treat them the same way they'd seen their "goddesses" being treated.
I'm not saying that freedom of speech should be limited -- as long as it doesn't involve children or animals, porn producers have every right to produce this product, love it or hate it. I'm also not saying that healthy sexual fantasizing will automatically turn you into a rapist-- it most likely won't. What I am saying is that steady and regular viewing of this material alters your perception and warps your values, and it takes extra discipline and dedication to get them back where they should be.
So what's to be done with the man who somehow feels that his needs are not being met in some way? Here's my idea:
(1) Write out your own fantasy. Include someone you're attracted to in real life, or maybe even a celebrity you think is a hottie.
(2) Flesh it out in any detail you want (but nothing that does not involve consenting adult homo sapiens)
(3) If you're single, finish the fantasy, and SHRED or BURN it. You wrote it for yourself, and not for anyone else. And you don't need to be trapped inside a world of your own making, because the real world is still waiting for you.
(4) If you're married, finish the fantasy, and SHRED or BURN it, but don't forget it yet -- go onto Step 5!
(5) Look at your wife and make the fantasy about her. Whisper in your ear the sum and substance of the fantasy, involving her. Let her be the goddess, and worship her as if she is one. Treat her body like a temple, and let your manhood serve as the offering. Ask her what makes her feel divine, and . . . .
OK there, that's enough of that, LOL! Better save some of this for later . . . .
The point is this, and it's the same in many other areas of life -- if you're not being fulfilled, then become fulfilling. If you're not being stimulated, become stimulating. If life is not making you happy, then make yourself happy -- and then make others happy too! Just do something -- don't let this trance steer you into an altered state where you lose control!
Someone who's using the Four Pillars can defeat porn addition. I EXIST in the real world, and not racing through some WiFi connection. I MATTER, so I can talk to real women. I BELONG in the real world, not in the fantasy world. I DESERVE to respect myself enough not to get trapped.
So gentlemen, let's pull ourselves up by our bootstraps and . . . I won't say it, you get the idea.
Comments are welcome, as always!