Sorry all, missed last week, but I'm still around. I'll just have to give you all a double portion for Halloween, how's that sound?
Yes, as I said in my October 17 post, I'm trying to expand the content from not only ragging on bullies, predators, and punks-who-get-away-with-it (don't breathe a sigh of relief, gangsters, I'm not done with you yet), to basic self-improvement and self-empowerment. In doing so, I referred to a group known as the "we don't care" crowd.
These people do not have the same desire that we, or I, have to stamp out bullying in all its forms. Rather, they choose to let slings and attacks fall away like water off of a duck's back, and say things like "it doesn't bother me, why obsess over it, I can't change them, who cares," and so on and so forth. A very prominent member of this group recognized her thoughts in this post and let me know she had read it, in a good-natured way! :)
However, as I explained to her, I was not trying to bury the "we don't care" crowd. Of course, I wasn't completely praising them either. I was instead showing a certain amount of respect to them. Although they don't know what it's like to have low self-esteem, and their way of thinking doesn't always help those who do, they seem to have found a secret that the rest of us have yet to uncover.
For some reason, our apathetic and impermeable friends do not feel pain from others' attacks. This is in no small part because their self-esteem issues are inverse to ours: they actually have some. They already know that when people mouth off to them, that they're full of it, and don't know what they're talking about. They already know that they cannot be turned into what bullies think of them because they don't grant the bullies any power. They don't get offended by what the bullies say because, in their minds, whatever the bullies say to them is internally translated as, "I need to insult you because it's the only way to cope with my own shortcomings, and because I know I can't hold a candle to you." Or maybe because those who try to bully them come off as so pathetic and nonthreatening to be perceived as comical.
That's really the key right there: They don't grant the bullies any power! When we have low self-esteem, it's only too easy to grant bullies power because we keep forgetting that we have our own!
Remember that you have just as much power as they do, if not more! The "we don't care" crowd has been storing, conserving, and accumulating power while we've been draining ours. We need to get up to speed and power up big time!
How you figure? I refer you all once again to the Four Pillars: I Exist, I Matter, I Belong, I Deserve. The "we don't care" types already know this about themselves, and always have. Since they don't need to have that general concept of self reinforced, this blog is not meant for their perusal. It is we, the mere mortals of this realm, who need to be reminded of our own self-worth in order to reach the same level as our "with-it" and "together" compatriots.
But DON'T misunderstand me. This does not negate everything else I've been talking about. And, once again, it does not let the bullies and gangsters of this world off the hook for their crimes and misdemeanors. What I am saying is that with the Four Pillars, and their continuous repetition and reinforcement, you will be at a stronger vantage point to deal with the constant adversaries we all face. Fight them by generating your own power, not by giving them more of their own to use! And continue to fight them by seeking punishment and consequences for their misdeeds!
(but, but why? If they don't bother you, why would you WANT to punish them? Why do you care?)
That is still the one difference that remains between us and our resilient comrades: WE know how the pain feels, and THEY never will. It is not an issue that affects them, but it most definitely affects us. This is why we must fight this battle on two fronts: to promote and increase our own power, and to dismantle and cancel that of our adversaries.
And by the way, for some amazing anti-bullying advice, check out the anti-bully blog posted by Dr. Benjamin Leichtling: http://www.bulliesbegoneblog.com/
Feel free to comment, as always!