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Sunday, June 21, 2015

Respect

Hey All -- another weekend done, another week about to get under way!

One obstacle we sometimes face as beta males is lack of respect.  We are often confronted by those who enjoy hearing the sound of their own voices, expect those around them to kowtow to their superiority, and seriously believe that pushing others around, with immunity and impunity, is their divine right.  It's not only frustrating, it's dangerous - if you're not careful, all of the "just ignore them;" "it's the way they are;" and "don't take it personally;" rhetoric will serves to give these people a protective shield against any consequences.

There are always ways to deal with them -- here are some:

(1) Emotional Discipline:  never lose your cool.  People like this live to make other people upset.  It's their point system, their merit badges, and their "likes."  Do NOT, under any circumstances, give them an easy win.  The Armor around your Heart should be at maximum srength, your frustration should be held in check, and your composure should be will within reach.

(2) Short Reaction Time:  do not reflect on whatever bruises they left for more than five minutes.  Anything beyond that stops being their doing, and starts becoming yours.  Don't do their job for them.

(3) Preparation:  Decide that next time they choose to reach in, you will handle them with respect, but firmness.  Choose what you will allow, and what you won't.

(4) Boundaries:  Explain to them that their actions are not acceptable, and if they choose to deal with you, they'll simply have to stop them.

(5) Consequences:  This is where it can get tricky.

   (A)  Authority - do not engage in any action that contravenes the legitimate authority you have over you unless absolutely necessary.  And it can only be absolutely necessary if you first notify that authority of what is happening.

   (B)  Response of Authority - if they act, and resolve the issue, don't aggravate it further.  If they do not act, then and only then can you take action, because you now have a record of the problem.

   (C)  Position of Strength - if the next incident happens, remind them that the authorities know about them, that they are not the authorities, no matter how much they act like it, and that nothing they do will be tolerated.

  (D)  Attack Mode - remind them of their weaknesses.  Their defeats.  Their mistakes.  Their shortcomings.  Don't get distracted when they try to bring up yours, and don't let them intimidate you.  At that point, they've run out of free passes.

  (E)  Preparation for Future Confrontations - now that you know how they are when it gets real, you'll be even better prepared for them next time.  Unless they've actually shown enough cowardice to back down.

 This list is, of course, not exclusive, and doesn't apply to any and all situations.  However, it's a much more civilized and controlled method of responding to disrespect in most settings. 

DISCLAIMER:  This blog does not condone violence of any kind.  Let someone else handle that.  Of course, measures must be taken to defend yourself from imminent harm, but striking out in violence solves nothing.  We are not savages or neandrathals.  And yes, I'll say it once more, we are not ruled by the alphaganda, and we do not live in a comic book.  Let the animals behave like animals.  Don't be one.