Hey All -- still on vacation in sunny Florida, but I wanted to post something else . . . .
For the past several years, I have spoken out against all forms of bullying and intimidation. There's not much more I can add to that, but I'd like to address the flip side -- coping mechanisms for those who are the unfortunate recipients.
If you're new to this blog, having read my new and more accurate title, you're a beta male. You are good-natured, giving, and moral. Unfortunately, far too many people take advantage of this. So use this visualization technique:
(1) Imagine your heart. It keeps you alive. It holds your passions, your desires, your fears, your vulnerability, and your very soul. It is your very essence.
(2) Before you interact with other people, encase it in armor. Solid, impenetrable armor, with jutting blades and spikes. Able to withstand any strike or blow, and to repel any attempt to breach it. It can't even be dented by the deadliest attack against it.
(if you're in law enforcement, don't make this a substitute for your Kevlar. Moving on . . . .)
(3) The interior of this armor, however, is soft. Comfortable. Soothing. It matches the material that your heart itself could be made of. While the exterior protects your heart from anything that could harm it, the interior keeps it comfortable and at peace.
(4) An added feature of this armor is a cleansing mechanism. In the unlikely event that something does get through the armor, it acts to dispose of the foreign agent that disrupts your heart's peace. It corrodes the unwelcome element and removes it before it can enter the bloodstream.
(5) When you are with people who are good to you, who have earned your trust, and seek to do nothing but good, you are safe to remove this armor. You may then be honest with your passions, desires, fears, and vulnerability. But only do this when you have confirmed that there is no danger to your heart. Yes, you will be able to use the cleansing mechanism should an attack happen, but be sure that it won't anyway.
(6) When you are with anyone else, keep that armor on no matter what. Don't unlock it. Don't let your guard down. Protect yourself. Don't let them infect your very being with sadness, anger, hurt, or hatred. Don't let them break through. Don't let them think they own you. They don't.
That doesn't mean go all badass on them unless it's warranted, though. Remember that we don't live in a comic book. Just keep yourself fully protected.
That also does NOT let the miscreants, bullies, gangstas, and undesirables of this world off the hook. Not by a long shot, it doesn't. They still deserve consequences for their behavior of one form or another. But they don't deserve the satisfaction of watching you crumble because your heart was not protected.
And, just in case Paragraph 5 wasn't clear enough, it does not mean that you make yourself an island. There are times you can feel safe enough to disarm. Just know the difference.
Yes, I am a little more focused with the blog lately. I hope this doesn't send my long-time readers running for the hills, but I also hope I'll reach my target audience a bit better.
Beta Males, it's OK to feel. It's OK to be afraid. It's OK to have morals. It's OK to be vulnerable. But it's only OK when you use these traits as strengths, and not when they are exploited as weaknesses by the alphaganda. Protect yourself as much as possible, not just so you can prove to others that "it doesn't bother me," but just so they don't hurt you. Your heart is the most precious thing you have, more than wealth, more than companionship, and more than your reputation. Guard it with your life!
I EXIST. I MATTER. I BELONG. I DESERVE.