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Sunday, August 26, 2012

Selective Enforcement?

Hey all -- time for the second half of the double-portion.

Maybe this one belongs squarely in the life's-not-fair-suck-it-up category, but I've just seen it happen too many times that something's gotta give.

Sometimes in families, or elsewhere, we see people get off scot free with behavior that would have landed the rest of us in hot water.  Many times this is due to "the code," "the way it works," or because some stupid hen-pecking order has elevated some chump to an undeserved pedestal.

This unwritten hierarchy often permits the aforesaid chump to bully, malign, insult, deride, disrespect, and take pot shots at anyone they feel like with immunity and impunity.  And the enablers and hangers-on who permit this to happen are always at the ready with a plethora of platitudes and excuses why it just has to stay that way and can't ever change. 

What's to be done then?

You may have noticed the link I have to Dr. Benjamin Leichtling's website on my blog roll.  He says it best, but suffice it to say, his opinion seems to be that if these spoiled and enabled individuals don't think they're required to respect you, you're not required to give them further opportunities.  You can set up boundaries that prevent their entry unless and until they learn how to behave.  You can make it clear that the tone and the mouth are unacceptable.  You can repeat these Four Pillars to yourself as many times as you can to remind yourself that they don't get away with it with you.

This may mean causing a dust-up.  It may create warring factions and family feuds.  It comes with a great deal of risk.  But what about the reward?  At the very least, these overgrown trust-fund babies will learn that if they don't feel like growing up and changing the behavior, they had better look for other arenas where it will be accepted, because it won't be on your watch!

Short and sweet tonight all -- work tomorrow!

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