We're continuing with our transition from righteous anger at those who've wronged us to satisfaction and self-actualization. There are miles to go before we rest (ha ha, running humor), but let's get to it.
To expound a little bit on what I've said earlier, once the battle against those is finished (got attacked, responded within 24-hour statute of limitations, told them off, got respect), there's another stage to get past . . . not the just respect of others, but the respect of yourself!
When we have our minds focused on a conflict ahead of us, we think about how to beat our adversary logically and systematically, with just enough anger/fury/rage not to let them get away with anything. That anger/fury/rage can sometimes mean the difference between a win and a loss, as long as you control the anger, and it doesn't control you.
So what happens when the battle is over? If we lost, we might be angry with ourselves, and that's when we really get into trouble. Our opponents can, and should, get angry with us and maybe smear us a little, if they expect to win. We cannot, and MUST not, do that to ourselves! We'll be giving our opponents free passes that they never even asked for!!!
As another blogger I've linked to likes to say that we should not be our own worst critics. Rather, we should be our own biggest fans! Check his blog at http://www.personal-development-for-men.com/personal-development-blog.html
That doesn't mean we shouldn't be objective about our weaknesses and mistakes, and that we shouldn't learn from them. It means that we should be tough on our opponents, and gentle and forgiving with ourselves. It means we don't whip ourselves like that albino monk in The DaVinci Code! It means if we get knocked down, we don't smack ourselves in the head for letting it happen, chew ourselves out for being stupid, or think about how wrong we are. It means WE GET UP!!!!
We've already learned that bullying is wrong and bullies should be punished -- but now that we've gotten up, and gotten past that, we keep going. We get ready for what's next, stronger and wiser. We aim our anger that way, not back this way!
And what, pray tell, do we do if there's actually not a fight in front of us? No opponent to dismantle, no argument to refute, and no emperor to overthrow? No argument to win, no besmircher to resmirch, and no jabroni to layeth the smacketh down upon?
Does it even happen that way???? YES, PEOPLE IT DOES MORE OFTEN THAN YOU THINK! Not everything is a fight!
So what then? You smile. You laugh. You tell jokes! If you're like me, you do impressions too, because they're a riot!
You get your friends and have a rockin' good time! You talk to your family and talk about everything that's going right, and save the depressing crapola for another time! If you have someone special in your life, you show them that they're special because you know they're special, with prompting or reminders!
And if you don't have someone special, and would like one, let it happen! That doesn't mean going to clubs and showing off your Rico Suaveness if you're not comfortable doing so (if you are, don't let me stop you, but please!) It means that you present yourself with confidence and respect in everything you do, even the way you get lunch from the deli or zip onto the subway before the doors close. It means you don't throw hissy fits if the train is late or if people annoy you. Just put your best foot forward without being a "desperado," as my sister calls guys who "desperately" need women, and you'll get one! And once you get one, make it worth your while!
It's two very simple methods. During wartime, GET UP, and in peace, GO DEEP!
Feel free to comment, and let's go JETS!!!!
In fact, don't only comment, but give me a high sign and a vote of confidence. I know I've got my regular readers out there, thank you very much, but unless someone hits the "like" button on Facebook, I've got no clue that my stuff is well received. What would you like to read more of? Is my shift from rebellion against abuse to living with self-respect a welcome one? And more importantly, where are my young men and boys that I want to read this stuff?
Help a guy out -- thanks!